Oh Dear

 

You know what it's like. You're feeling at a bit of a loose end because it's Friday night in Lincoln, so whaddya do? Drive over to the Bishop of Lincoln's place to hang out with your prelatical pal and get into a glass or twenty of the right stuff. Then what? That's easy.

Drive the bishop's Kia, ahem, Sportage down the road to your sad little vicarage and crash it, mas gusto, into a Brit film star's boyfriend's Skoda, writing the nasty Sportage and the wretched Skoda off at one fell swoop. And, by the way, you've somehow managed to lose your shoes in the process. Huh.

Oops

Some kind of joke? No, just another true story from the venerable if shrinking Church of England. It seems Rev Hughes Carew, onetime Church House apparatchik decided to get it on for his birthday. Fair play, let the bells ring out, as they apparently did from a nearby church. And then?

Haul over to your pal's palace, Bishop Stephen Conway. It's Friday night, it's your birthday, live it up, get it on, lose your shoes, climb into the bishop's car, drive it half a mile down the road, hey, it's close, and smash into a celebrity associated Skoda. Boom.

St. Hugh of Lincoln

Rev. Carew was evidently educated at the appallingly establishment Westcott House in Cambridge, the Venerabile in Rome, curiously, and seems to have majored in yoga and church bureaucracy. He's now facing a driving ban and disbarment from the priesthood. 

The Bishop of Lincoln, Hughes' drinking buddy, remains very largely in place, and claims Rev Hughes took his nifty if unpleasant Kia Sportage without permission. What can we say?

1. Judge not lest ye be judged. Yes, there is that. 2. Don't drink and drive. It's potentially deadly. 3. Don't hang with the Bishop of Lincoln. If you do, keep your shoes on. 4. Don't be a dam mountebank and give ammo to the enemy. We're assuming, dangerously, that Hughes+ and +Lincoln aren't actually on the enemy's side. And on. So.

I, for one, hope that Hughes recovers from what has to be a terrible hangover and that the Bishop of Lincoln learns his lesson too. As in, get a driver. It's simple. Man in hat in Daimler drives ridiculously shoeless cleric back to his unpleasant little house. No. Harm. Done. Or of course you can always get an Uber.

St. Hugh of Lincoln, pray for us, it's clearly needed.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Warsaw Bans Crucifixes

 

Warsaw's radical leftist globohomo mayor Rafał Trzaskowski has banned crucifixes and religious symbols from public buildings and instructed government workers to use gender neutral language and preferred pronouns. This will, apparently, make Warsaw's civic governance less discrimnatory. Unless, of course, you're Christian.

In related news, NATO supremo Jens Rainbow Stoltenberg has told the world that our mighty military alliance exists to defend gayness.

>they thought it was just a meme https://t.co/ZVoWXmhTMz pic.twitter.com/PvQAvo8t4b

— Russians With Attitude (@RWApodcast) May 18, 2024

Imagine all those new soldiers, sailors and air persyns flocking to fight for the Rainbow Alliance of Gayness. Thanks, Stoltenberg, for solving our recruitment crisis. And in response to the former skulduggery, the Green Pontif's predictably said nothing other than bad mouth traditional Catholics. Go figure.

Cheers,

LSP

Criminality And Vice Pt. 2

 

Tucker Carlson was going to air documents detailing the Biden family's egregious criminality and vice this evening. But the documents vanished in transit between New York and Los Angeles.

Here's Tucker:

"The company security team interviewed every one of its employees who touched the envelope we sent. They searched the plane, and the trucks that carried it, they went through the office in New York where our producer dropped that package off, they combed the entire cavernous sorting facility, they used pictures of what we had sent, so that searchers would know what to look for. 

"They went far and beyond, but they found nothing. Those documents have vanished. As of tonight, the company has no idea and no working theory either about what happened to this trove of materials, documents that are directly relevant to the presidential campaign just six days from now."

 

Wow. Pause for a moment to reflect on what this means and what it took to achieve it. Are we at the silenced .22 LR stage of the crime syndicate coup against an elected president? Maybe not quite but still, Mr. Carlson, hope you've got excellent security.

And maybe those documents were copied, multiple times. No one would ever think of sharing them, surely.

Any resemblance to an action thriller spy novel's entirely coincidental. Come back, Tom Clancy, all's forgiven.

Your Pal,

LSP