Blackface

 

What's with all the blackface going on these days? Like we're living in some kind of postwar musical? Good Lord, we've got Justine Trudeau masquerading as a Moor. Kyrie Eleison, why?

And Talcum X, great civil rights leader of our time

And Rachel Dolezal. Black as the Ace of Spades, except she isn't.

Now this. Nibiiwakamigkwe, real name Kay LeClair, has been running around presenting zhirself as an American Indian, a queer one no less. Quite the Rainbow Hiawatha, but the problem is Kay's white, she's no more "indigenous peoples" than I am.

But what am I saying. My Great Grandfather was part Cherokee, Oklahoma, and looked it too. He blamed everything on the Communists and loved Hal Lindsey's Late Great Planet Earth. He was surely right on the former if wrong in the latter.

In the meanwhile we've got these mountebanks parading about pretending they're black. I'd call that racist, but perhaps you disagree with the logic of the Compound?

Your Best Pal,

LSP

Farmers Markets? Pack Up And Go, Racists

Just when you thought it was safe to buy some farm fresh tomatoes, free of the chains of Big Food, you're brought up short. You see, farmers markets are racist. We know this thanks to two San Diego State University profs.

Farmers markets, say the brainy professors, are "white spaces where the food consumption habits of white people are normalized.”

See? You thought you were simply buying fruit and veg in an effort to bypass the massive food conglomerates and encourage local produce. But no, you were just encouraging "whiteness." You can check out the San Diego buffoons on Campus Reform.

While you're at it, don't forget the ivory towers of Brown and its latest fauxcahontas initiative. Race, readers, is as fluid as gender itself. Just ask Rachel Dolezal or, for that matter, the curiously named Brown.

From left to right, Rachel Dolezal, Rachel Dolezal

It costs somewhere in the region of $67k a year to attend Brown. Rachel Dolezal, who is white but became brown, didn't go to school there, oddly. 

Make of that what you will,

LSP

Black Lives Matter, Brit Style!

The War on Weather took a new turn when London City Airport was brought to a standstill by Black Lives Matter activists who tied themselves to a large tripod, protesting the U.K's "racist climate crisis."

All of the airport BLM protesters were white, prompting one observer to ask if their leader was "Talcum X."

Talcum X, formerly known as Shaun King, is white but also black, and like Rachel Dolezal is a well known "blacktivist."

In similar news, California State University Los Angeles is building segregated housing for black students. 

How many of these will be white is presently unclear, and we have to ask, what next?

Separate seats on the bus?

LSP

You Lying Blacktivist

Yet another famous blacktivist, Shaun King, seems to have been caught pretending to be black when he is, apparently, white.

Like Rachel Dolezal, King thought black lives mattered so much that he had to become an African American. This helped him to get a coveted Oprah Winfrey scholarship to the prestigious black university, Morehouse.

Two White People Pretending to be Black, Pretending to be Farmers

It also helped him to become a prominent black civil rights campaigner. But Shaun, are you sure you're black? Maybe race, like Bruce Jenner's gender, is a construct that we invent as we go along. 

Surely Some Mistake

In the meanwhile, the Black Conservatives Fund PAC has offered to give Black Lives Matter $25,000 if King can prove that he's the blacktivist he says he is, and not a lying fraud, running around in blackface.

Good luck,

LSP

Dolezal Blackface

Rachel Dolezal was a white girl from Montana before she became an African American civil rights hero for the NAACP. Her brother says she's been living in "blackface," and thinks that's demeaning to real African Americans.

There's Blackface

But in fairness to Ms. Dolezal, there's a long tradition of white people pretending to be black. The Selous Scouts were keen on "blacking up" in the Rhodesian Bush War, for example. Like Dolezal, they infiltrated black communities with surprising success. The same goes for white irregulars in the Kenyan Mau Mau rebellion.

And There's Blackface

I've always been a bit baffled by the inability of the terrorists to detect the blackfaced imposters, but the ruse seems to have worked, and worked well.

Bush War

It did for Rachel Dolezal, up until recently. Rumors abound that the unfortunate trans race champion has hired lawyers. Surely she should be given an award for courage.

Your Pal,

LSP