Gender Fluid

As we stand on the cusp of a new and adventurous year, we question the future, looking for definition, finality. Will the shittest candidate for President since Martin Bormann Hillary Clinton be locked up? 

Martin Bormann

For that matter, will Vladimir Putin be crowned Czar of Holy Mother Russia? Will Donald Trump make America great again? And, let's get down to it, what exactly is "gender fluid"?

What is it?

Hardworking staff at our Chicago Desk were quick to answer, "Gender fluid is ecological dishwasher detergent that you buy at Whole Foods." 

Whole Foods

Others wonder if it's something you change in your truck, every three thousand miles or so.

You, the reader, be the judge.

Your Old Mate,

LSP

Putin For Czar

A top Russian priest has said what everyone else is thinking, that Russian strongman, Vladimir Putin, should level up and become Czar.

"We are a country with monarchic mentality," said Russian Archpriest, Vsevolod Chaplin, "It doesn't matter that we don't now have formal monarchy, I think we can re-make it with Putin on top."

Some Kind of Pathetic Joke?

American liberals, furious after their candidate's lashing in the recent election, have been trying to pin the blame for Hillary's crushing defeat at the the foot of the Russians, claiming that Putin's superstate somehow hacked into their emails and made them public.

The Last Czar, RIP

Czar Putin laughingly made light of the Democratic allegations, dismissing them and the dying Obama regime's aggressive expulsion of 35 Russian diplomats as "kitchen sink" diplomacy. 

Putin With an Adorable Chick

Czar Putin enjoys massive popularity at home and abroad.

LSP