Thursday, April 27, 2023

Bury St. Edmunds Killzone

 



Perhaps you've heard of Bury St. Edmunds, perhaps you haven't. It's a beautiful market town in Suffolk or at least it was. It has an ancient Abbey, now a cathedral, and a lovely hotel, the Angel, along with a tiny pub which pays homage to a mummified monkey. 

Debenhams, you may recall, attempted to take the town over and were cursed. But that was then, this is now. Bury has become a dangerous place, a kill zone.

Try not to splutter and choke on your drinks, it's true. David and Edward King, father and son, weren't happy with serial bicycle riding thief Neil Charles, so they took him out with a faux samurai sword and a commando knife. Take that, scumhead.


the Kings

Charles, you see, had messed with the wrong boys, who sallied forth when the bike riding perp was caught on the King CCTV system. Quick, they thought, let's take that fkr out, and so they did, stabbing the lowlife and chasing the ciderhead crim off their property.


Neil who is now dead because chancing tackhead

Bury's two-bit tackhead  crim subsequently died of his wounds. Oh dear. The Kings have been sentenced to decades of gaol time for murder vigilantism. So what's the score?

Were the Kings right to take out the pestilent thief who terrorized their dismal rural welfare project, or were they wrong? I call right, free men are able to defend their property but... samurai sword, commando knife? Maybe the Kings belong in the lockup too. Sayn.

Law & Order,

LSP


12 comments:

Gromit said...

Bury is a cute town, with a nice park bench made from B-17 aluminum by GIs in WW2. It is surrounded by former WW2 airfields.

Wild, wild west said...

Apparently, the thief didn't understand the King's English.

Sorry......

RHT447 said...

An excellent movie about justice. "The Jack Bull".

Anonymous said...

They let down the side just a bit, yes?

Very disappointed the miscreants head was not displayed prominently in public, preferably on the end of a pike.
Also, the use of a Oriental weapon, unless fairly captured by expeditionary forces,** reflects poorly on English heritage. Something like a broadsword or even a halberd, would be more culturally appropriate.

** note Holmes and Watson's study for examples.

Beans said...

Yes, the two were right. The police have done nothing, thus abrogating the right of policing (which was abrogated by the subjects to the police orinally) and in other words, screw the bike theft.

Everyone knew who was doing it. Nothing was done about it. Too bad, so sad, tata for now and enjoy your eternal dirtnap.

Sucks that the Kings will be in Gaol forevermore, while the Crown lets out actual criminals on a daily, nay, hourly business.

Old NFO said...

Well, they took a 'problem' off the table...

LSP said...

I've always enjoyed Bury, Gromit.

LSP said...

Wild, I had to laugh.

Rural thuggery, imo.

LSP said...

What an excellent movie, RHT!

LSP said...

Anon, you make several excellent points.

I like the heads on pikes.

Picture them gracing Bury's Cathedral Gardens, and that's just the Dean with his live-in thespian lover.

LSP said...

Totally agree, Beans, but bear in mind the Kings were part of the problem too. I have this on good (local) authority.

LSP said...

Definitely, NFO, all three of 'em.