Friday, May 17, 2013

Worst Sermon Ever?

Bad

I've discovered what may be the worst sermon ever preached, all thanks to this blog called Not Another Episcopal Church Blog. NAECB comments on alien-possessed Jefferts Schori's exegesis of St. Paul's exorcism of a demoniac slave girl in Acts.

Boy Bishop

Jefferts Schori gives the narrative an interesting off-world twist. Read on, it's worth the effort.

"We live with the continuing tension between holier impulses that encourage us to see the image of God in all human beings and the reality that some of us choose not to see that glimpse of the divine, and instead use other people as means to an end. We’re seeing something similar right now in the changing attitudes and laws about same-sex relationships, as many people come to recognize that different is not the same thing as wrong. For many people, it can be difficult to see God at work in the world around us, particularly if God is doing something unexpected."

Alien

"There are some remarkable examples of that kind of blindness in the readings we heard this morning, and slavery is wrapped up in a lot of it. Paul is annoyed at the slave girl who keeps pursuing him, telling the world that he and his companions are slaves of God. She is quite right. She’s telling the same truth Paul and others claim for themselves. But Paul is annoyed, perhaps for being put in his place, and he responds by depriving her of her gift of spiritual awareness. Paul can’t abide something he won’t see as beautiful or holy, so he tries to destroy it. It gets him thrown in prison. That’s pretty much where he’s put himself by his own refusal to recognize that she, too, shares in God’s nature, just as much as he does – maybe more so! The amazing thing is that during that long night in jail he remembers that he might find God there – so he and his cellmates spend the night praying and singing hymns."

Space Creature

"An earthquake opens the doors and sets them free, and now Paul and his friends most definitely discern the presence of God. The jailer doesn’t – he thinks his end is at hand. This time, Paul remembers who he is and that all his neighbors are reflections of God, and he reaches out to his frightened captor. This time Paul acts with compassion rather than annoyance, and as a result the company of Jesus’ friends expands to include a whole new household. It makes me wonder what would have happened to that slave girl if Paul had seen the spirit of God in her."

Overlord

You can't get better than that, eh?

So, Jefferts Schori, I award you a remarkable 10 out of 10 coveted Alien Head awards.

Well done!

LSP





X 10

4 comments:

darlin said...

LSP I'm not sure if I should be laughing or not, but I am just the same. I've also been taught that if I don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all! ;-)

Have a wonderful and blessed weekend!

LSP said...

You should definitely be laughing, Darlin!

Hope all's well.

Michael Peterson said...

Gobsmacked. That wasn't even exegesis. That was the homiletical equivalent of ... well, rubbish. Actually it wasn't the equivalent of rubbish. It was rubbish.

LSP said...

Alright there, Padre.

Such total Rubbish.

Speaking of which, I had a friend at an RC seminary in London (UK) who used to call several Vietnamese recruits "Doctor" -- they called him "Rubbish!!"

That's stuck with me for several decades -- but Schori? The real deal.