Hands Off! Joe.

Some say that Vice President Joe Biden is a malfunctioning artificial intelligence (AI), with aging circuits and a broken down array of spatial sensors.

Others think that he's just a creepy old man who manages to embarrass Barack Obama himself.

Creepy, aging politician, or broken AI?

You be the judge.

LSP

Joe Biden, Apocalyptic Visionary or Malfunctioning Android?

The Vice President of the United States of America and the second most powerful man on the planet is at it again.

Power

Speaking in Joplin, Missouri, Biden, affectionately known as "Ole Salt 'n Peppa," or "Teeth," reassured a local high school that the 161,000 people who died there in a freak tornado didn't die in vain.

Corrupts

Fact-checkers wasted no time. Joplin's tornado victims numbered 161, not the number mentioned by Teeth. Was Salt 'n Peppa in a visionary trance? Like some kind of 161k Rapture? Or were his AI circuits simply malfunctioning?

Absolutely

Apocalyptic harbinger of the Eschaton or a dud android?

You, the reader, be the judge,

LSP

Excommunicate Joe Biden!

Apparently Vice President Joe Biden has woken up and realized what every serious person's been thinking for the last decade. Namely, that discrimination against transsexuals is, "The civil-rights issue of our time."

some kind of joke?

There you go. The race thing's completely settled, rumours of a growing slave class are entirely unfounded, the U.S. prison population isn't the largest in the world and we're all getting more free and more prosperous by the year. Unless, of course, you've had gender reassignment surgery, in which case it's a nightmare.

space creature

Well said, Biden. Keep on telling it like it is. 

A note to all Roman Catholic readers. Please petition the Pope to excommunicate this man, and while you're at it, work in Nancy Pelosi too.

LSP