Showing posts with label machete. Show all posts
Showing posts with label machete. Show all posts

Sunday, October 29, 2023

Monkey Business

 



There we were, in the dead heat of a dead hot summer and we prayed, when will this heat ever end? Maybe never, so there you are at your desk, sweat dripping down onto the Dell even though your AC's running full blast like a racehorse which just can't keep up.

No kidding, the very ground is cracking under the heat and there you are, idly chopping sweating mahogany with a razor sharp kukri, chop, chop, chop, in time with failing ChiCom ceiling fan dystopia.

A knock on the door. Rap, rap, rap. You look up through the heat haze, clearing a Glock .45, "Come in!" All very Master and Commander and enter the office, and he does, a complete 5.7' of hooded aggressor. Wow, 13% produces 50% of the crime. "Where's your money at?" demands our malfeasant POC friend, waving a blunt machete and a worse than useless garbage Hi-Point.




You look hoodrat in the eye and ask, "You want money? Yeah, we all want money, so take it, it's yours, it's up the monkey, just help yourself. Hey man, have at it, feel free, it's all yours."

100% eye contact. There you are in 110* waiting on the monkey rush, call it a stand-off. So what's it gonna be? Life and death. Rush the monkey to get the cash or... not. Your call, buddy, as a dystopian fan whirs overhead, and the heat does not lessen. No, it builds.

Hoodie looks at the munificent monkey, standing tall in your corner, full off cash, a veritable simian of a floor safe, and you can see the pull of greed versus personal safety playing out in Hoodie's mind. What's it to be, rush the monkey and get the cash and die rich, or retreat out of this hot, hot room, alive.




You watch, tapping your kukri impatiently against a scarred desk, "Maybe it's time for you to go, my friend. Or maybe you want to get all up in  the Rittenhouse. Your call, go ask the monkey. It's totally up to you."

Which way would you play this utterly unlikely scenario, punters?

Cheers,

LSP

Wednesday, November 9, 2022

Red Wave? Red Drizzle

 



Wow, remember the Red Wave? You know, the GOP tsunami that was going to sweep the commies outta the House and into the rainbow glitter gutter? Sure you do and words fail at the actual result; a miserable, pathetic, vapid red drizzle. So what went wrong?

I'll leave you, the experts, to answer that one but I will say this. The Mid Term Fiasco (MTF) will embolden the Unicorn and its handlers, so expect, in no particular order, moar Drag Queen Story Hour, moar War, moar partial birth abortion, moar asset-stripping, moar inflation and moar debt. That'll end real well, but at least bathrooms won't be binary.




And guess what. If you, the serf, dares to object to the multi-hued Elysian Field expect a friendly knock on the door at 4 am. Because, obviously, speaking out against our beloved Uniparty rulers isn't free speech, it's hate speech, and deserves to be punished in the name of our great democracy.

Sorry, constitutional republic. Speaking of which, I asked a pol phil prof at Baylor, "Have we become a banana republic?" He replied, sharp as a tack, "Oh no, we're hardly a republic, more a banana, surely." Quite.




Smart people are cleaning weapons, loading mags and throwing last year's furniture on the fire.

Invictus,

LSP