There's a monkey on the loose in Pennsylvania and readers of this influential mind blog are urged to shelter in place or shoot the deranged beast on sight.
The crazed simian, a cynomolgus monkey, escaped from a wreck on Pennsylvania's infamous I 80 in Montour County on Friday, when a truck carrying 100 monkeys crashed into a dump truck. Four monkeys escaped and three were captured after the breakout, leaving one monkey roving loose across the Keystone State.
According to Troopers Andrea Pelachick and Lauren Lesher the monkey should not be confronted:
There is still one monkey unaccounted for, but we are asking that no one attempt to look for or capture the animal. Anyone who sees or locates the monkey is asked not to approach, attempt to catch, or come in contact with the monkey. Please call 911 immediately.
Yes, do not approach, try to catch or contact the monkey. It might very well hurt you. We know this, here at the Compound, and we pray you do too.
Make of this short parable what you will and while we're at it, guinea on the monkey and twice as fast, eh?
Bets on,
LSP
