The Witch Weighs In

Smarting from Woodentop's weekend Gaza ceasefire fiasco, the Administration deployed another state-of-the-art Foreign Policy 'droid, the Witch, in an attempt to justify its pro-Hamas stance.

Dunderhead

In an interview with Fusion T.V., the Witch explained why the terror group based its operations in hospitals, Mosques and other civilian areas. 

Deceitful

According to the former Secretary of State, it's all down to geography and demographics.

"I'm not a military planner but Hamas puts it's missiles, it's rockets in civilian areas, part of it is Gaza is pretty small and its densely populated," stated the replicant.

Rich

The Witch, who has claimed to be poor, was given a whopping $8 million book advance and is regularly paid six figures for speaking engagements. The duplicitous android shares several million dollar homes with its husband "Bill". Their net worth is estimated at $55 million by 24/7 Wall Street.

Way to go, "Hillary."

LSP

Hillary Clinton Book Flop

For some reason no one seems to be buying Hillary Clinton's awesome book, Hard Choices, in which she details her husband's randy romps through the Oval Office of the most powerful country in the world. Despite that, Hard Choices is tanking and can be found in sale bins across America at a whopping 40% discount off sticker price. 

No Money

Hillary, who is popularly known as The Witch, claims that she was "dead broke" when she left the White House with her polyamorous husband, Bill. Maybe that's why the Clintons made an $855,000 cash downpayment on a $1.995 million mortgage a few weeks before they left power.

No Money At All

The Witch is paid somewhere in the region of $200,000 for her numerous speaking engagements and wants to become President so that she can make enough money to cover her catastrophic book losses.

Dead Broke

Go on, give her your vote, she needs the cash!

LSP

Happy Father's Day!

I hope you've all had a great Father's Day and a blessed Feast of the Holy Trinity. I have a good mind to fire up the grill in honor of both.

Baptized a baby this morning. Beautiful.

LSP