More London Jihad, COBRA Meet CREEP

The Islamic terror group ISIS has claimed responsibility for today's bomb attack on London's Underground, which wounded some 29 people on a District Line train.

Fortunately the bucket bomb only caused burns instead of fatalities as it sent a fireball through a crowded passenger carriage during rush hour.

The Underground blast is the fourth terror attack carried out by the religion of never-ending peace in Britain this year. Muslim fanatics killed 5 people on Westminster Bridge in March, 22 people at an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester in May, and 8 people on London Bridge in June.

Law Enforcement hasn't been idle in the face of this threat, reportedly making 379 terrorism related arrests so far this year. However, police have warned that there's "no such thing as a 'typical terrorist'."

Nothing Typical About These Terrorists

British Prime Minister, Theresa May, has raised the country's terror threat level to "critical" and called a special anti-terrorist meeting of COBRA.  And you have to feel sorry for COBRA, how will they be able to protect their country when they can't identify the enemy. 

Nothing Typical About Salman

After all, according to the police, there's nothing "typical" about the terrorists, there isn't a type who commits these these crimes, there's no common motive or ideology, no unifying creed, belief or ethnicity. So who are they? COBRA scratches its head in baffled bewilderment along with their lesser allies in the Met.

Khalid Masood? Not Typical

Here at the Compound we've decided to be proactive and help out our transatlantic allies, which is why we've fired up our predictive crime software, CREEP (Criminal Recognition Enemy Engagement Prediction), and crunched the numbers. The results are as shocking as they're surprising.

Four out of five major terrorist acts in the UK this year were carried out by Muslims. That's right, Muslims, followers of the Prophet Mohammed.

Over to you, COBRA.

LSP

Dog Wars

The thing about country life after the city is that its peaceful; you can see the stars at night, the air's cleaner, there aren't so many cars, you can hear the birds sing and - the dogs bark. A lot, loudly, all the time, in my neighbour's back yard from around 6 a.m. when their pit bull brains are woken up by the Rooster, until around midnight when they're so exhausted by barking that they crash out.

It's an issue here and God fearing folk are taking deperate measures - as you can see, some have opted for poison, which is tempting. Others suggest sniping with .22, also tempting but risky - who wants to end up in gaol for performing a public service? Others again feel that a  Taser might do the trick. Well it probably would but I don't have one.

Whatever, it drove me out into the fields where I managed to stay on the horse, so that was good and even better - MCP has made a song which you might like to watch/hear. Its about the honesty of Great Britain's politicians http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ImmQO3YOaw

These it seems have sunk into a trough of eighteenth century style jobbery, corruption and malfeasance; just throw in piracy on the high seas and the illusion's near complete. Oh, we have that too! So what's missing? "Talent" says my supernaturalist friend and Church Warden, Alan Delgarde.

Maybe, but ah, the dogs are silent. At last. Never underestimate the power of prayer.

LSP