You Ain't no Muslim Bruv!

No, you're not, you're a pike, caught by my pal in Catford. Muhaydin Mire, on the other hand, is a Muslim, who went machete Jihad in Leytonstone the other day.

The UK is ruled by a sinister cabal of Old Etonian NWO oligarchs, led by Illuminati puppet, David Cameron. Cameron has stated on social media that the Leytonstone Machete Muslim is not a Muslim.

Cameron may, or may not, be related to Stephen Fry.

LSP

Happy Victoria Day!

Today I invite you to take a break from life's vicissitudes and have a holiday, because today is Victoria Day!

Typical Victoria Day Celebration

That's right, today we stand with our friends in Canada and celebrate Queen Victoria's birthday, a few days early to be accurate, but who cares?

Canada

So have some fun, turn off Steffie-the-Hobbit, don't get into any scraps with roving gangs of outlaw bikers, maybe take a break from compulsively reading the bad news which sweeps over us like an arching tidal wave. Whatever it takes.

Calgary

I might go on a Cell Phone Jihad, in which participants shoot up their old cell phones with high power rifles. Or I might not.

There's no rule. On Victoria Day.

LSP