Sunday, October 29, 2017

We Drove Through Fire To Get To Houston

No fooling, the team was driving to Houston when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the traffic on I45 slowed to a standstill. Why? Because the road was on fire. Seriously, smoke was drifting across the highway thanks to some Anarcho-Marxist setting the verge on fire in an act of random highway terrorism.

Win The Firefight

We fought through the obstacle, hoping that the fire didn't spread to the surrounding brush and cause a conflagration, engulfing Leon County. It didn't, thank God, and before you could say phony Russian collusion story, the fabled towers of Houston were looming in the windshield of the rig.

MAGA Loves Gold

Then it was time for the inner loop and MAGAland as the sun bounced golden off the glassy sides of Houston's infamous Dalek. A great result and somehow teaching. "Round or flat?" asked the Cadet (potential), staring into the boundlessly flat horizon. 

Obviously Flat Quite Possibly Hollow

"That's easy, son. It's obviously flat and quite possibly hollow. Think Hillary's failed bid for presidential power."

Later that evening we celebrated at the Lux and I tell you this, a good time was had by all, except maybe the waiter who was from the Ukraine and serving tables after being canned by Fusion GPS. His name was "Slavo", curiously.

Go On LSP, Starch That Shirt And Tackle The Brulee

So well done, Houston, you're a fun place to visit, even if you have to dodge the McLarens and Bentley soft tops. But maybe that's half the charm.

Mind how you go,



LL said...

Neither fire, flood nor Hillary's witchcraft kept you from a fine meal. It shows that you're living right!

Adrienne said...

Ah, yes - good ol Westheimer Ave. where Grand Lux is. I went to beauty school in the 600 block of Westheimer when it was just becoming a gay destination.

Flat? When I worked at the Hyatt Regency Spindletop bar downtown the tourists would ask, "What's that city over there," pointing to SW Houston.
"It's Houston", I'd answer.
And as the bar revolved they'd keep pointing and asking about all these "other cities."
After about the 3rd inquiry I'd say, "Listen, every single direction you look for as far as you can see is Houston."
Now Spindletop is surrounded by taller buildings.

I miss the Houston that used to be. I had 17 or so years of non-stop party there. "There" included New Orleans, Nashville, Galveston, and San Antonio. Sometimes I'd get off work at 2 am and drive my 56 TBird to Galveston at 120 mph just to walk on the beach. Good times.

Brig said...

Letting a little fire and brimstone dissuade you...

Fredd said...

Dodging McLarens and Bentleys, eh Pastor? You must be rubbin' elbows with the upper crust, downtown oil guys.

My kin live in suburban Houston, where rusty pickups with bad tires speed by you on the interstates and surface roads at 90 mph.

LSP said...

The Old Crone couldn't stop us, LL!

LSP said...

Adrienne, that sounds like a lot of fun! And I like Houston. Mind you, if you're at the Galleria and see cash on the floor, kick it home, don't bend over...

Then there's the Lux, great fun for the kid. I like the bar there, predictably.

LSP said...

Beware the fires, Brig!

LSP said...

My workmanlike F150 stood out in the crowd, Fredd. And I have to say, Houston driving reminds me of Mad Max. Survived, miraculously.

Old NFO said...

LOL, must have been important to actually brave the idjits down there... I wonder if Houlihan's is still open... Great steak place, down in the warehouse district.

LSP said...

NFO, I won't lie, the traffic's scary. Don't know about Houlihan's but love steak.