As the greatest statesman America has ever known lay in somber state in the heart of the nation's capital, moving tributes poured in from across the vast continent he so selflessly served.
Here at the grief-stricken Compound we take a moment's respite from our mourning to share some of these with you.
From Alberta, "Senator John McCain was a cross between Lady Diana and Winston Churchill. His America was always great."
From Detroit, "McCain's life was characterized by love, which is why he won the Civil War for the North and freed the slaves."
From Minneapolis, "John McCain was truly brave, he had no need of bombast or false rhetoric, his ideal was one of America carried ever forward and ever upwards. It is surely no accident he was the first man to walk on the moon."
From Washington DC, "He was a plucky, handsome, daredevil maverick. Yes, far from perfect but inspired by those ideals and principles that encompass the true genius of our founding as a nation. Armed with those he heroically built CERN with his bare hands and solved the riddle of nuclear fusion."
From Chicago, "John called us to be better than that, better than cowering behind a politics based on fear, full of phony controversies and manufactured outrage. That's why Senator McCain, American hero, founded Back Lives Matter."
From Los Angeles, "John was the best. Period. End of story."
This is but a small sample of the near infinite outpouring of grief that has seized North America and the world at the passing of this heroic Senator.
As you listen to Greatest American Hero on a continuous loop, remember the mighty stature of this remarkable patriot.
Facilis descensus Averno,
LSP
