CAPITOL HILL RATFEST

Did you watch the RATFEST on Capitol Hill today, in which a giant lying RAT testified before Congress?

The RAT was called out a couple of times for LYING, even CNN said so, which you gotta admit's saying something.

At one point the RAT was hit with a FARA criminal referral, which was pretty awesome, and a Muslim congressperson got called out for virtue signalling racism. Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) didn't like Mark Meadows presenting a woman of color as evidence against the RAT.

And so it span on, with the giant RAT accusing Trump of racism, evil, lying, racism, evil and talking to Julian Assange and being a Russian agent. The RAT didn't have any evidence, just its own RATLIKE say so. Not dissimilar, when you think about it, to the Russian Collusion investigation itself.

Apparently that's about to collapse because of a total lack of evidence, despite two years and millions of dollars spent in the effort. 

Maybe the Democrats thought they could keep the narrative going and stoke the frenzy of non-existent public outrage over a non-existent crime by exhibiting a LYING RAT before Congress.

Apparently it's the first time a person convicted of lying to Congress has been summoned to testify before Congress because, well, such a convincing witness. 

As the RAT shuffles off in handcuffs to serve time for its many crimes, the American public is rioting in the streets and demanding the impeachment of the President. Except that it isn't.

Good work, Democrats. Whatever PR firm told you to hire a GIANT RAT to boost you at the polls needs to be fired. 

In other more interesting news, a porn star who threatened to blow the lid off an international pedo ring has been found suicided and Trump's working on an historic peace deal with North Korea. 

India and Pakistan, on the other hand, are at the brink of war and everywhere you turn some tranny's beating real women at a sporting event. This seems unfair, unlike AJ's awesome appearance on Rogan, a must-see (AJ, stop interrupting...).

Whatever, here in the newsroom we deal in realpolitik and with that in mind remember, nobody likes a RAT.

Your Friend,

LSP

HOBBIT UPDATE

For years, bioarcheologists speculated that Homo Floresiensis or "Hobbits" owe their tiny 60" stature to island minisculism, the theory that living on an island with limited resources causes species to breed down in size. However, shocking new evidence suggests otherwise.

Explorers on the remote Indonesian island of Flores, home of the dwarflike Hobbits and their possible descendants, the Ebu Gogo, have discovered the fossilized skeletons of giant rats. The largest of these weighed in at a hefty 11 lbs and were the size of dogs.

Burn and scrape marks on the 45,000 year old rat bones suggest that Flores Hobbits ate the rats, who roamed the island for thousands of years before going extinct.

Or did they?

You be the judge,

LSP