Wow. Seattle, home of Teen Spirit pop icon Waylon Jennings, Lemmy, Nik Turner, Randy Newman Kurt Cobain has left the Union. That's right, Anarcho-Marxists have taken up 6 blocks of central Seattle and made it their own country, called CHAZ.
Note Glitter Pony
Well, we all know what happens when hippies take over anything. They trash it because they're drunk and stoned. Sure, it starts off well with attempts at farming, then descends into unwashed chaos. You don't believe me? Go on, ask any festival organizer.
Warlord Jazz Simone
Rumour has it that a bona fide Mad Max, Lord of Chaos, Eschaton Warlord rapper, who goes by Jazz Simone, has taken over CHAZ security. Good on you Jazz, someone has to and it's obviously not Seattle's cops. They've probably been defunded and can't afford to.
Tragically Failed Farm :(
In related news, everyone's selling their house in Minneapolis. Can't think why, white privilege? Well yes, obviously.