Perhaps some of you are animists and believe rivers, streams, oceans, trees and the grass itself to possess soul or spirit. As in, "The river which flows through our post-industrial urban hellhole is enlivened by the river nymph Asset-Stripper." Maybe you believe this animist juju, maybe you don't, but the new Bishop of St. Albans is all about it, which is why he blessed the river Marden as a "sentient being."
To be fair, the Right Reverend Dr Andrew Rumsey, newly minted bishop figure of St. Albans, wasn't the chief conductor of this riverine paganism. No, he just blessed it, signing off on pagan Councillor Robert MacNaughton. MacNaughton explained the nature of the event:
“I know rivers to be living beings, therefore they have their own consciousness and our consciousness can interact with theirs. If we put out positive feelings into rivers, then they reharmonize themselves in terms of that positive energy. If people put pollution into the rivers, they could become dead. Whilst we can't do anything about structural issues of the government, about water companies, what we can do is come to the rivers and say, we love you, you're fantastic, we need you.”
Wow, I stand in awe. Do you think, dear friends, that such Anglican Animism will bring people back to church? As in, "They're worshipping river spirits, better flock to Holy Communion on the first and second Sundays of the month."
Said no-one ever. What risible, pagan, greenlighting nonsense. Time to say enough is enough, St. Albans, we're looking at you.
Ad Flumina,
LSP
