Hillary couldn't stop him, the lying, corrupt, elitist media couldn't stop him, all the expert pundits from around the world couldn't stop him, so now it's time for the left to to try something new. Who knows, maybe magic will stop Donald Trump!
With that in mind, optimistic witches and wizards from across America are set to perform a magic "binding spell" on the President tomorrow, February 24, at Midnight. Here's an excerpt from the magic ritual:
(Light white candle)
Hear me, oh spirits
Of Water, Earth, Fire, and Air
Demons of the infernal realms
And spirits of the ancestors
(Light inscribed orange candle stub)
I call upon you
Donald J. Trump
So that he may fail utterly
That he may do no harm
To any human soul
Nor any tree
Pretty neat, eh? That'll get Trump, just the way the hippies managed to levitate the Pentagon with their magic powers. Leaving aside the mawkish, eerie similarity of the "ritual" to an Episcopalian "liturgy", we have to ask, have the Democrats become the party of Satan?
Look at the evidence. They vigorously support Planned Parenthood which sells baby parts, think Moloch, they're trans, think Baphomet, they hate traditional Christianity and go into paroxysms of rage at the Lord's Prayer, think The Exorcist. But that's not all.
Their spectacularly failed healthcare plan was used to attack nuns, they persecute Christian businesses, they love Islam, Christianity's ancient enemy, they hate Christian marriage, and on and on.
For goodness sake, Hillary's Campaign Chairman, John Podesta, is a spirit cooking ritual occultist. Their defence? So what. And now, following their epic political fail they're rallying their spiritual side, the nation's witches.
Good luck, Demoncrats, and remember, Satan has a way of devouring his own.
Out, Demons, out.