Thursday, February 23, 2017

Maybe Magic Will Stop Trump

Hillary couldn't stop him, the lying, corrupt, elitist media couldn't stop him, all the expert pundits from around the world couldn't stop him, so now it's time for the left to to try something new. Who knows, maybe magic will stop Donald Trump!

With that in mind, optimistic witches and wizards from across America are set to perform a magic "binding spell" on the President tomorrow, February 24, at Midnight. Here's an excerpt from the magic ritual:

(Light white candle)

Hear me, oh spirits
Of Water, Earth, Fire, and Air
Heavenly hosts
Demons of the infernal realms
And spirits of the ancestors

(Light inscribed orange candle stub)
I call upon you
To bind
Donald J. Trump
So that he may fail utterly
That he may do no harm
To any human soul
Nor any tree
or Sea

Pretty neat, eh? That'll get Trump, just the way the hippies managed to levitate the Pentagon with their magic powers. Leaving aside the mawkish, eerie similarity of the "ritual" to an Episcopalian "liturgy", we have to ask, have the Democrats become the party of Satan?

Look at the evidence. They vigorously support Planned Parenthood which sells baby parts, think Moloch, they're trans, think Baphomet, they hate traditional Christianity and go into paroxysms of rage at the Lord's Prayer, think The Exorcist. But that's not all.

Their spectacularly failed healthcare plan was used to attack nuns, they persecute Christian businesses, they love Islam, Christianity's ancient enemy, they hate Christian marriage, and on and on. 

For goodness sake, Hillary's Campaign Chairman, John Podesta, is a spirit cooking ritual occultist. Their defence? So what. And now, following their epic political fail they're rallying their spiritual side, the nation's witches.

Good luck, Demoncrats, and remember, Satan has a way of devouring his own.

Out, Demons, out.



LL said...

I have a feeling that the witch/satanic mojo that didn't stop Donald Trump from becoming president won't work to stop him from making America great again. Sorry Mephistopheles.

Adrienne said...

Bummer! I checked most of our local pagan groups and none of them is hosting a anti-Trump mass. I guess I could just hold my own.

Mattexian said...

Well, *that* ought to fail miserably, since by the "three-fold law," anything one sends out reflects back thrice, so by attempting to bind Trump with ill intent, they will bind themselves three times. This NeverTrump bandwagon just keeps building into a bigger and bigger Charlie Foxtrot.

Fredd said...

Preaching to the choir, Reverend. I have known that liberals are just flat out evil, most of them, or just plain stupid, some of them, for most of my adult life.

And I ain't no spring chicken.

LL said...

Does the Devil have a parrot? The iconography is ambiguous on the matter.

We KNOW for certain that Baal does not have a blue dog.

Infidel de Manahatta said...

Hey, what do you expect? Of course Democrats are in league with Satan. He is a person of color after all.

LSP said...

These are interesting points, LL. While Satan's possession of a parrot is uncertain, we know that Libs parrot the Devil. We also know that Baal doesn't have a blue dog.

Does this mean that Satan's witches will be savaged by Blue Heelers this evening as they mindlessly repeat their Demoncrat mantra? Possibly and as you say, it failed the last time, why do they think it'll work this time?

Insanity, as with furious deceit, is a satanic hallmark.

LSP said...

Needs must when the Devil drives, Adrienne.

LSP said...

It'll be interesting to see how that works out, Mattexian. Good point. (They think they can get around that by making a special "prayer" to their "deity" after the ritual. Good luck)

LSP said...

I thought you might agree, Fredd. But the witchcraft thing seems to be mainstreaming with them, perhaps that's new?

LSP said...

Sorry, Infidel, I should have spotted that. Must. Check. Privilege.

Fredd said...

Pastor: I dunno, evil is evil. Whether they use guns, knives, poison, etc. Witchcraft is just another club in the bag.

Anonymous said...

As you know Parson, Merlin is definitely pro-Trump.

LSP said...

Fredd, now that Hillary's consigned to the trashcan of history, who'll take over as chief witch?

LSP said...

That's very true, Anonymous. /pol/ourguys/