London Cryptids - The Mullally

 

London, England, is home to many mysterious creatures unacknowledged by conventional science,  such as Springheel Jack, the Highgate Vampire, the Nameless Thing of Berkeley Square, the River Thames Monster and the Mullally.

The Mullally is reportedly a shortsighted half-man, half-woman and manifests itself as an Anglican bishop figure, terrifying onlookers with sexual innuendo and fearsome teeth. Colloquially known as "Bishop of London," the Mullally attempts to hypnotize its hearers with dysphoric doublethink.

"It's just plain ugly," said one clergyman on condition of anonymity. However, the Justsin Welby, another famous London cryptid, disagreed, “I will be extremely joyfully celebratory of these new [gay prayers of gay blessing]." Much like the Mullally, the Justsin Welby instantiates as a bishop figure but witnesses report it will not perform gay blessings out of concern for "pastoral care." 

Scientific consensus rules against sightings of cryptids like the Mullally and the Welby, "They're just fevered products of overheated imagination, not bishops at all," stated a former member of the Church of England's Catholic Group.

Here at the Compound we're inclined to agree with the skeptics.

That is all,

LSP

No You Are Not Awesome

My, it being a Sunday, just look at these bishop figures. Imagine, if you can, so many people pretending to be something they don't believe in anyway. I like this infographic:

Touching, isn't it. Then there's the new bishop figure of London, pretty hot, eh? C'mon, COE, let's fill those empty pews!

But don't forget Gloucester, which labours under an ancient curse. Maybe Rachel's going to lift that because she's so feminine and gorgeous.

See, the thing is no one's going to take the venerable if disastrously shrinking Church of England seriously if they don't consecrate women to the episcopate.

Just you wait and see; something nasty in the woodshed? With apologies to the awesome Stella Gibbons, hardly, parading in plain sight.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

The Diocese of London Caught On Camera?

Disturbing photos show what appears to be the declining Church of England's Diocese of London. Once a proud stronghold of Anglo-Catholicism, the Diocese of London has seemingly fallen on hard times.

According to one expert, "I’ve loved this diocese since I was a kid. Now look at it, an alleged half-man, half-fish that looks like the charming end of a monkey carcass coated with leather and shoe polish and fastened to the backside of a mackerel."

Others aren't convinced. "This may look a lot like the Diocese of London," stated one pundit, "But it's just a fake mermaid. You can see it on display along with the Anglican Church of Canada at Banff's Indian Trading Company."

Is this eyeless, dried out hybrid all that remains of the once mighty Diocese of London or is it merely a carnival stunt in Justin Welby's ever shrinking big tent?

You, the reader, be the judge,

LSP