Halloween

Some say that Halloween is Satan's birthday but it's not, it's All Hallows Eve or the Eve of All Saints. This means that kids get to run around dressed as goblins and ask for candy before they're vanquished by the saints the next day.

Here at the Compound we're all in favor of the celebration but don't make the bad mistake of giving the little trick-or-treaters comsymp, globalist, NWO, Illuminati cabal ice cream. It's not good for them. Give the young 'uns a tasty pez instead.

Speaking of Halloween, it used to be customary for people to play games of divination and attempt to foretell the future. How will that turn out?

We know the broad sweep of things, the forces of hell are defeated by the hosts of heaven. Such is the ultimate end but in the midterm, someone please lock her up.

Out Demons Out,

LSP

Caravan Time Traveler

A time traveler from Wednesday, November 7, 2018 has brought back a stunning picture of the future, showing what appears to be a giant rainbow pinata on America's southern border.

The futurist, Mr. W. Wolf, says that the gift will be left by a "caravan" of "Guatemalans and MS-13" as a "gift." And because the future isn't fixed, several responses are possible. 

(1) Hit the pinada with artillery.

(2) Napalm.

(3) Haul the pinada through the fence as a triumph of Democrat policy?

(4) Hook it up to a Sikorsky Sky Crane and drop it twenty miles off-shore?

Here at Compound News, we're amazed by these revelations from the future and with the time traveler, urge everyone to get out and vote.

Your Best Friend,

LSP

Whitey Bulger Dead - Mueller Time!

Notorious mobster, Whitey Bulger, is dead, killed by an inmate as he was being transferred to a West Virginia prison. 

Things went badly for Bulger, 89, when a prisoner with Mafia ties hit him over the head with a lock in a sock and gouged his eyes out. Bulger had nothing whatsoever to do with Special Prosecutor Mueller.

However, Mueller, who had no connections to Whitey Bulger at all, has been accused of raping a woman at the St. Regis hotel, New York City, in 2010.

Mueller, who heads up the special investigation into the Trump campaign's infamous collusion with the Kremlin, never knew or heard of "Whitey" Bulger and denies raping a woman at the St. Regis.

The Special Prosecutor has referred the rape case to the FBI, which is famed for its honesty, lack of corruption and non-partisan objectivity. 

Mueller says accusations of rape are fraudulent and the result of GOP pay-offs, as claimed by one of his former paralegals. He also never knew, heard of or communicated with Whitey Bulger.

Your Pal,

LSP

Is Phil Lesh King Of The Dorks?

Pretty Dorky Right From The Get Go!

It started off suspicious and weird, in the '60s. The Dead were cooking off in San Francisco, putting out their version of rock 'n roll, all very cool. 

Dorky? Yes, Very

But there was a fly in the ointment, an issue, something not quite right. Yes, you guessed it, Phil Lesh, the notoriously dorky bassist for the Grateful Dead.

Well That's Straight

Even before Bob Weir started wearing shorts, Lesh was acting weird and stupid, copying Jerry's guitar and wearing tie die t shirts.

Not Dorky At All

Everyone put up with him because Jerry was cool and Phil was, you know, doing his own thing. But that didn't make Lesh less dorky, far from it, he doubled down.

Truly This Man Was The King of Dorks

Today, Phil Lesh is famous for giving Christine Fraud $10k. Does that cement his title as King of the Dorks? You, the reader, be the judge.

Reckoning,

LSP

Melania Mondays! Halloween

It's Monday and time for some welcome relief from the insanity that's become the news cycle. Fortunately for us, Melania's here to help and she's not been idle.

Well known for her love of children, America's popular and glamorous First Lady stepped out in style at the White House Halloween party, handing out candy to children.

President Trump got in the Halloween spirit too, waving a serpent staff over the trick-or-treaters. Some observers describe this as a "hex" or a "spell." 

But the President was only emulating Moses, whose serpent staff, the Rod of God, devoured the snakes of Pharoah's magicians and protected the Israelites in the Exodus and beyond.

Melania, who's regularly attacked by snakes in the lying, corrupt, smug, elite, mainstream media, clearly enjoyed the imagery and went on to bring happiness and smiles to lucky children.

Well done First Lady, for doing your bit to make America great again.

MAGA,

LSP

Shouldn't Do That

Crazies comin' outta the woodwork, migrant invasion barreling down the pike on flatbeds and Gab's down. Message? OBEY your corporate Illuminati overlords, serfs. And right before the midterms, they must be worried. What can we say?

Shouldn't do that, you're getting nowhere.

Your Foot Tapping Friend,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury Writes Pope

An anonymous source has leaked damning correspondence between the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, and Pope Francis to the Press.

Via Ignatius:

Dear Frank,

I have to admit that I am envious.

As your Synod on Yoof comes to an end you are in the happy position of being able to oversee the drafting of the final document without fear of contradiction. I, on the other hand, am little more than a servant of our General Synod, tied hand and foot by quasi-democratic red tape.

What cheers me is that – au fond – we have identical aims and objectives. We both see the future in an accommodation to the general drift of Western values. Of course, with women’s ordination and casual abortion, we are way ahead of you. But there are new inclusions that we can work for together. What a triumph if you could smuggle a reference to LGBTQERTY into your final document!

Our task is to remedy the declining number of believers by adapting the Faith to what people really do believe. Then we can claim that the majority have been Christians all along and call it ‘evangelisation’.

At the moment, as I am sure you will agree, things are going swimmingly. Though to be honest I have mixed feelings about euthanasia – still, I suppose we will find ourselves embracing it in the end.

Keep up the good work,

Your affectionate ‘partner in crime’,

Justin.

Welby, head of the worldwide Anglican Communion, is popularly known as "Justsin." Stay tuned for further revelations.

Your Old Pal,

LSP 

What A Racist!

Racist? That's clear from the way all those white Seminole supremacists greeted the President at the White House. They loved him because he boosted their white racism, even though they're black. And look at this.

Here's Candace Owens being a white racist because she's a member of the Klan.

There is a revolution in The Black community ! Here is a clip of @RealCandaceO in front of the White House talking about the harmful Democratic Policies. We’re leaving the Plantation. #YBLS2018 #TPUSA #MAGA #Trump2020 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/LBU7qx7yVw

— Gianni Rodriguez (@GianniParris) October 27, 2018

But seriously, love the Grand Commander or hate him he's obviously not a racist, he just wants to make America great again and bring back jobs, not least to African Americans. The Democrats hate that, a lot.

So which party's racist? Hint, the Republicans freed the slaves.

#WalkAway,

LSP

Bombs Everywhere!

Everywhere you turn, a new bomb; it's getting hard to move without falling over a random bomb, just ask Robert De Nero.  So where do they all come from?

Who sent the bombs?

Why did they send them?

Will the deluge of bombs never end?

What evil would turn people into crazed bombers?

Disturbing, isn't it.

Time to call in the bomb squad!

Thanks /pol,

LSP

Bombs Away!

Everywhere you turn there's a pipe bomb, it's like it's raining pipe bombs, you have to step over them just to cross the road.

Maxine Waters got two, Obama got one, Soros got one and Hillary got one, delivered to Chappaqua no less. CNN got one too, intended for the nation's favorite ex CIA Muslim supremo, John Brennan. And Cuomo, don't forget him! He got a pipe bomb as well, like everyone else.

Did any of the bombs work? No, and the one intended for CNN had a digital clock which cunningly didn't have an alarm. Perhaps that bomb was going to be detonated by telepathy.

The same kind of telekenesis, perhaps, that's driving a Caravan of, ahem, immigrants to the border right at election time. Psi Power's a remarkable thing, eh?

But we have to ask, why is Debbie Wasserman Schultz sending all these hoax bombs to her lib elite cabal friends?  It's not like she even tried to hide it, there's her return address right on the false flag fakey bomb parcel.

Is this some kind of internicene Illuminati civil war? Has Debbie finally had enough of  the Puppetmaster, Mad Max, the Old Crone, Jihad Brennan and the Magic O himself? 

And let's be clear, Debbie couldn't have delivered all of the bombs herself, she has to have had help. Leaving aside Corey Booker, here they are.

The Grey Army! Terrifying, isn't it. Maybe Debbie, Corey and their urban guerilla cadre will rescue the blue wave and sweep the Party into power.

In the meanwhile, Dems, listen up. DON'T, do not put your name and ADDRESS on the return label.

Bombs away,

LSP

Geraldo Owned By Angels

Well, well, here's the awesome Geraldo peddling his wares with the Hell's Angels back in the '70s. He was super awesome then, super awesome now. Don't say owned.

But make of it what you will, in the meanwhile, here's a helpful tune.

Alright kids, get behind the movement and exterminate the libs at the polls.

That is all,

LSP

CARAVAN!

No, not the faggy, beta acid folk rock outfit that didn't dominate the airwaves in the '70s. No, not them, but the Caravan of weirdly military age men who are marching on America, 10,000 strong.

Who's paying for the Caravan, who set the jolly Caravan off? Was it North America, for daring to have a better economy than, say, El Salvador? Was it Soros and the Illuminati Globalists? 

Hey, their pockets are notoriously deep and they're all about beating down the minimum wage. Gotta maximize the bottom line and increase the income stream, private jets and islands don't come cheap.

Then again, maybe Trump paid for the Caravan in a stroke of 4d chess midterm  genius. He might as well of done, it's only going to boost MAGA. 

Good work, lib PR machine.

Build the Wall,

LSP

Go To The Lake

It seemed right to go fishing today so I drove to the lake, which is high because of torrential rain. First stop, the dam spillway and there was the mighty Brazos, in full flood.

A couple of guys were trying their luck but not catching anything and I took in the sight for a reflective moment or two before heading to the other side of the dam.

It was deserted and no wonder, there was hardly any accessible shoreline to cast off from but I clambered down the rip rap and sent a torpedo out onto the glassy water. Fish were jumping, mostly just out of range and all made sure to avoid enticing topwater lures.

Still, it was good to get out in the open Texan air and watch the tranquil water of the lake, to say nothing of the tantalizing excitement of topwater fishing. 

Would the monster Bass you knew were lurking in the murky depths explode on the lure with piscine fury? You know they're there and you know they'll go for that lure like a Trump Train on full steam, you've seen it before. It could happen at any moment.

But it didn't, so I headed back to the Compound where I discovered CPL's got himself into a nasty little pit of $4.5 million, and all the rest. Don't say MillSoc hubris.

Did you watch Trump in Houston? It was huge. Unprecedented?

MAGA,

LSP

SUNDAY SHOCKA CHELSEA HANDLER VERY GROSS

Superstar comic celebrity, Chelsea Handler shocked the world, describing herself as "very gross," a "loud mouth" and "not talented," all because she's white.

In an interview with MillSoc lesbian TV icon, Ellen Degeneres, Handler talked about her self-loathing.

“When I started to look around at people that don’t have as successful of a career or are working twice as hard to achieve the same things, I started to feel very gross about myself. On a very fundamental level, I wanted to explore it further … [starting] with my own white privilege. I’ve been badly behaved for 20 years and getting tons of money thrown at me for being a loudmouth. You could say I’m talented, but you could also say I’m not talented.”

But Chelsea, you're very talented, at making heaps of millionaire socialist cash. Handler's net worth is a paltry $40 million, just shy of her friend Hillary's $45 million. And you know what they say.

Why be a poor socialist when you can be a rich one.

Power to the people,

LSP

Time Traveler

A transdimensional time traveler has broken silence to tell us what life was like for the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion pre 2000, Before Trans Era (BTE).

Some Kind of Joke?

"It was different," says "Josh" who wishes to remain anonymous, "We were there, like a normal church, and then everything got weird. There were all these priestesses and they did some kind of deal with the gays. Maybe in Chicago.

Gene, Loretta, Sharpton, the Trinity

"Next thing you know they'd gone full rainbow and there were lesbian bishops and this guy, Gene Robinson, but he's gone now because it's not cool to be gay, you have to be trans. 

Gross Van Dyke

"I know this, I sat in Ian Markham's study at VTS, he went to King's, and heard it all spelled out. It was going to get them lots of people in the pews but it didn't. More people get buried in the Episcopal Church than get baptized."

Psi Power

Ian Markham, Dean of the prestigious white privilege seminary, VTS, was unavailable for comment and so was "Josh", the time traveler. The Episcopal Church continues to hemorrhage members despite going "full rainbow."

Justsin

The Archbishop of Canterbury is popularly known as "Justsin."

God bless,

LSP