Thursday, March 27, 2025

Two Tier Kier Bans Ninja Swords

 



What is this, some kind of pathetic joke? No, it's real and it's happening now in NetZero commonsense Britain. That's right, if you want to live out your fantasy ninja dreams in the Sceptered Isle you're fresh outta luck, because 2TK's banned your sword of choice. No more ninjato steel for you, serfs.

OK, you've got until the summer all you UK Ninjas, but don't take it from me, here's 2KT zhirself on social media, or at least one of they/them staffers:



Yeah, all that knife crime. Caused by all those Moslem and POC votes. Better ban ninja swords then, hadn't you. For goodness sake, the country whose empire once spanned the globe is now a Rainbow Stasi, Ninjato Banning Great Replacement Globalist laughing stock.

That's not all, the UK also has some of the highest industrial energy costs in the world, four times that of the US. But don't worry, no one's going to cut you off with their ninja sword when you can't afford your bill, they'll just send you to jail for mean Facebook posts.

Maybe the UK's heading towards a crisis if it's not already in one. I, for one, wouldn't want to be there when and if it erupts.

Katana,

LSP

16 comments:

Beans said...

Ha, easy to defeat. Buy a katana and a wakazashi, maybe a tanto, matched set. Or a nodachi. Maybe a yari or a naginata.

Why?

Because none of these are ninja swords.

drjim said...

I weep for Britain.....

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Hmmm, thugs with knives. Without knives, will the thugs still be thugs? Maybe a mass incarceration of thugs might cut down the violence.

Ritchie said...

Better to cut down on thugs. See what I did there? Also, ban motor vehicles with leaf springs, which will turn up in salvage yards on the regular, and such springs are made of quite decent steel. Repurposing needs coal and charcoal, better ban those too. The banners' work is never done.

Anonymous said...

If only we could ban "the woke" ....

Old NFO said...

What about those WWII bring backs that are real???

Wild, wild west said...

They've done gone full brillig over in the UK. Never go full brillig.

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went clackity-clack into the confiscation bin!
He left it dead, and with his head hung low in shame
He went slouching shamefully back.

LSP said...

What an excellent point, Beans.

LSP said...

Same here, drjim, it's my home, mostly.

LSP said...

Exactly, WSF.

LSP said...

That's weird, Ritchie. I've got a kukri made out of a leaf spring. Works well.

LSP said...

Yes please, Anon.

LSP said...

NFO, when I was a kid in Oxford, it was a rare mantlepiece that didn't have a bring back above it.

LSP said...

Wild, I see your Jabberwocky with City of Brass:

. . . . When they were fullest of wine and most flagrant in error,
Out of the sea rose a sign—out of Heaven a terror.
Then they saw, then they heard, then they knew—for none troubled to hide it,
An host had prepared their destruction, but still they denied it.
They denied what they dared not abide if it came to the trial,
But the Sword that was forged while they lied did not heed their denial.
It drove home, and no time was allowed to the crowd that was driven.
The preposterous-minded were cowed—they thought time would be given.
There was no need of a steed nor a lance to pursue them;
It was decreed their own deed, and not chance, should undo them.
The tares they had laughingly sown were ripe to the reaping.
The trust they had leagued to disown was removed from their keeping.
The eaters of other men’s bread, the exempted from hardship,
The excusers of impotence fled, abdicating their wardship,
For the hate they had taught through the State brought the State no defender,
And it passed from the roll of the Nations in headlong surrender!

Wild, wild west said...

Kipling really did prevision all of this, didn't he?

Mike_C said...

Nice thought, but I’m pretty sure that people who can’t define what a woman is aren’t going to do any better with properly classifying blades.