Import Export

 

Nice Shirt Dude

Look, we're all in favor of fair trade and that's exactly it. Why should the poor citizens of the United States of America have to put up with British import Harry and his simpering LA D-List actress wannabe-but-never-will-be Queen figure? Why, why should we, it's unfair. 

Looking Good, Feeling Good until TRUMP

Fortunately the selfless royal couple are attempting to redress this shocking trade imbalance on their own, by self-deporting. Why? Because the evil Orange Dictator insists, like a typical and literal Nazi that his country should and does have an enforceable border. Wow. What. A. Fascist. Such unendurable tyranny for the unelected, fabulously wealthy, privileged, entitled, utterly selfless royal couple. So maybe Harry and Meghan will return to the Sceptered Isle, as an export.

Fierce

Not everyone's happy about this in the UK. A 14 year old Scottish girl was seen protesting with axe and knife. Can you blame her? She's been arrested, we hope, by agents of the Crown.

Savage

Prince Harry was a perfectly good and popular officer in the British Army until he was bewitched by the Californian Simperer-in-Chief. Will the UK have them back? Will the brave young savage girl with axe and knife repel the imports or will Harry and beloved no-talent Meghan set up in England at taxpayer expense?

Stay tuned, and as always, you be the judge,

LSP

Dallas Reflections

 

When you think of Dallas do you think of the ancient TV show featuring JR Ewing? Perhaps, but regardless, one of the things you get to do in LSPland is drive there, down the murder expressway called I35. I did so today, bumper to bumper tailgating crazy at 85/90 mph. Whatev, same old.

Before long you get to the outer reaches of the massive DFW connurb, but keep on, foot on the pedal, and then there it is, rising like a gunmetal OZ, Dallas' skyline. No small thing and especially emerald impressive at night.

Don't be fooled, though. Get in amongst those gleaming glass and steel towers, which rise Babel to the sky, and what do you find? Beggars, indigents, homeless encampments and associated ne'er do wells chancing it in triple digit climate change. We've moved, you see, into SUMMER. It's like this ineluctable climatic progression.

That in mind, take the Illinois exit, head south on Zang past old and new ghetto housing and ride on 'til you hit Davies and Bishops Arts. Marvel at the throngs hanging out at various bars and eateries, wonder at multiple apartment blocks which have sprung up in the last couple of years, and mourn the tragic passing of Ten Bells and Hattie's, two BA stalwarts which went under post COVID.

Oh well. Hang a right opposite the appalling PHD Pourhouse sports bar and into this neat wine shop. Buy a bot and get into a convo with the staff. Like this: 

"Hey, man, I saw you went into here by the door." You pause and reply, "Yeah, that's what I did."

"But why did you do it that way, was there, like, a METHOD?"

"Say again?"

"A method?"

"Sure there was. I walked in the door and spotted some kind of white zin on offer and wanted to look further, that's why I ended up by your fridge and this great bottle of Malbec."

"Wow, man, you sound like Elon Musk!"

"Is that a good thing, brother?"

"Yeah it it is, all good, man."

 

I looked at my tattooed counterparts, what were they, extras for Pirates of the Caribbean?, and gave both boys a sunny hello goodbye. Yeah, they'll be laughing when they're extradited to England. Good luck with that, stoneheads.

Vinter's done, fall back to Ma LSP, who's watching a neat show called, "Why Does Everyone Hate Meghan Markle?" What a good show. Surely not because she's a D-List, simpering, fraudulent, delta minus semi moron, social climber, gold digging Hollywood fool. Surely not, and a witch who ensorcelled Harry with her witch power. He, of course, is obviously an idiot.

Your Old Pal,

LSP