JUICY!

 

We all know what happened. Super famous celebrity Empire talent Juicy Smollet was attacked in Chicago outside a Subway, where zhe was getting a sammich. 

Yes, at 2 am, in -20* weather, Juicy was savaged by two men in ski masks who put a noose on the world famous screen idol, poured bleach on zhim, hurled racial slurs and shouted, horrifically, "This is MAGA country!" before running off into the freezing night.

Guilty, M'Lud

What an horrendous hate crime! Except that it wasn't. Leaving aside curious anomalies like bleach freezing at -20, Juicy's story began to unravel when it was revealed that zhir attackers were, in fact, two Nigerian brothers who were Empire extras and physical trainers. Smollett paid them $3,500, by check, idiotically.

Jericho Green gives magisterial commentary on Juicy's faux hate crime here, here, and here, check it out. In the meanwhile, the hapless victim of his own risible screenplay's been found guilty by a Chicago court and has to serve 30 months felony probation, 150 days in gaol and pay a $120k fine.

#MillSoc Fraud

Here at the Compound, Blue snarled, "I think that lying thespian fraud got off real light." I looked at the aged cow dog, curled up on a Moslem rug with his absurdly spotted tail and replied, "Quite."

As of 2022 Juicy's net worth was an estimated #MillSoc $1.5 million. So utterly oppressed. 

Cheers,

LSP

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UPDATE JUICY SAYS NOT SUICIDAL

If I did this, then it means I stuck my fist in the fears of black Americans in this country for over 400 years and the fears of the LGBTQ community. Your honor, I respect you and I respect the jury, but I did not do this, and I am not suicidal. And if anything happens to me when I go in there, I did not do it to myself, and you must all know that. I respect you, your honor. I respect your decision. Jail time [pause]. I am not suicidal.

 

What?!? Why would this rich, successful, protected class thesp be driven to suicide? Did Juicy somehow annoy somebody? Magnum mysterium. 

Thursday Roundup

It's Thursday and the Feast of St. Peter Damian, so what better time for a news roundup. First things first, Jussie Smollett, popularly known as "Juicy" got himself arrested for a nationally televised MAGA hat, hate hoax, bleach noose lynching. 

One of Juicy's better stunts involved writing a check, yes, a CHECK, to his fake MAGA hoax assailants, for $3.5k. Chicago PD's not too pleased and you can watch their reaction above.

In other news, a Coast Guard nut wanted to kill everyone but got caught, thus preventing a false flag detraction from Juicy's interesting story and the rumors of Deep State Mueller's Russian Collusion investigation coming to an end next week. 

With no, ahem, evidence whatsoever of Russian collusion between Trump and the Kremlin. Libs are prepping the field in advance of massive disappointment.  Witch hunt? Surely not.

Speaking of witch, Gateway Pundit's headlining an interesting story on Clinton corruption, you can read part of it here. Hillary, of course, hasn't been locked up yet, unlike Roger Stone who isn't allowed to say anything anymore after he troll posted on Instagram.

Stone was raided at 5 am and dragged out of his house to jail for opposing the Deep State, but Juicy wasn't. Was that because Juicy was part of the DS narrative, unlike Stone? Whatever, Juicy still has its job at Fox whereas the repellent Roseanne Barr was fired for a tweet. Sic transit.

Then there's ISIS brides. They're having buyers remorse and want to return home so that they can have their babies in a world of electricity and running water. Charity notwithstanding, nein danke.

St. Peter Damian was famous for the rigor of his asceticism and reforming the many sins of the 11th century church. This apparently included abuse of minors. Familiar? In the meanwhile, we have to ask.

C'mon, Juicy, why'd you write a check? Watch this, good work Jericho Green.

And in case you're wondering, Yellowstone continues to cook off.

Cheers,

LSP