Showing posts with label space alien. Show all posts
Showing posts with label space alien. Show all posts

Sunday, May 1, 2016

The Church of England Found Snooping, in Wisconsin?



A Wisconsin man claims to have seen the Church of England snooping around his house in Monona, Dale County.

The anonymous Wisconsinite saw the Church from a reflection in his window. “It was in the reflection of the room," he said, "while my back was turned. It apparently sneaked from hiding to staircase. My father was asleep in a different room.”

By the time the man turned around the Church had gone, leaving "no trace." However, the Monona resident was able to describe the small denomination as being 4' tall, balding, with a small mouth and large alien-like eyes. The humanoid entity was reportedly wearing a "blue one-piece with no belt." 




However, some experts disagree. "I've seen the drawing and it's clearly not the Church of England," stated one pundit, "It looks a lot more like the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby. You can tell by its glasses, head and grey-like features. He might have been sneaking about for money or food."

Why the Church of England or its leader, Archbishop Welby, have been sneaking through houses in Wisconsin remains unknown.

Monona, Wisconsin, has a population of 8,000.

LSP


Saturday, July 18, 2015

Church of England, on the Moon?


The Church of England may have been found, on the moon. Pictures suggest that the small and declining denomination has set up shop on the Earth's orbiting companion.

While some think that the Earth's moon is home to UFO space alien bases, others think that the diminutive Church of England is responsible for "on the square" crater anomalies.



According to one expert: 

"Skeptics that debunk the Church of England on the moon theories do not have the slightest idea what is going on up there, or why human beings have not traveled to the moon even though it is a point of interest for us not only because of its proximity but also because of the exploitable natural resources present on the moon."



Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, who helped exploit oil and gas from Africa when working for Elf, was unavailable for comment.

The Shard

Ad Astra,

LSP

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Mad Peacock


After the first Mass of the day we all gathered in the parish hall for "coffee hour," and the talk was mostly about bobcats and goats. Then we were interrupted by an unearthly noise.

It sounded like some kind of alien being, high and crazy, but it was just a mad peacock. Up in a tree.

I'll be going out on a bobcat hunt later this evening.

Keep living the dream,

LSP

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Ride Hard, Bonnie Resigns




The last two times but one that I rode out on JB weren't very satisfactory, with the horse pulling just about every trick inn the book to do what she wanted instead of what I wanted. What did I want? Not much, just a gentle walk and trot down a dirt road, maybe a few bursts of canter/gallop. What did she want? To be back in her pasture with her horse friends. Any of you that ride will know the scenario and the ensuing contest of wit and will; it's just not any fun if all you're after is an hour or so of healthy horseback enjoyment in the Texan countryside.

ready to go?

With that in mind I wasn't expecting any kind of good performance on Thursday; I knew I was dealing with a herd-bound horse. Still, we moved off out of the pasture and down the road. Fine, until we passed an alluring herd of Quarter horses in a neighbouring field. JB's horsemind did the math and came to the obvious conclusion, viz. far better to fraternize with these Quarter Horses than be ridden by LSP.

I love the herd...

Being a smart animal, JB figured the best plan of action would be to  surreptitiously swerve left towards the enticing herd. That didn't work so she thought, "I know, I'll just back up into the herd!" which I let her do until she nudged a hotwire with her rear. A look of equine bafflement later and horse and rider were on their way into a large mown field and pointing away from the Quarter Horses.

Off we galloped along the circumference of the field; I got the forward movement and the enjoyment of the gallop, she got to go in the direction of the herd, albeit by a circuitous route. Wisdom says "use what the horse wants to training advantage, LSP." Which I did, going at it several times, changing directions, till it was time to cool down and walk. Then we did it all over again, this time going at angles across the field, followed by gallops along the perimeter.

all about the herd
I tell you, it's a good feeling to go full(ish) tilt across a big field on a horse that's bred to run. JB liked it too and was rewarded with a cooling shower. She promptly rolled in the dirt, a happy horse.

Bonnie laughing at Schori
In other news, Bonnie Anderson, President of TEC's House of Deputies, has apparently tired of rolling in the dirt of General Convention and announced her resignation following this year's  Convention in Indianapolis. She thanks TEC's "system of governance" for acknowledging that the Holy Spirit "blows where she pleases."

alien space creature
Since when was the third Person of the Trinity revealed to us as "she"? Nothing like making it up as you go along, is there.

Stay on the horse,

LSP

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Space Alien Flogs Dead Horse!

Space Alien
Celebrity Episcopalien, Rev. Susan Russell, well known gender politician, priestess and off-world activist, has hitched her Advent star to the dying hippy movement, "Occupy Wall Street." 

Insatiable
In a sermon on the final Sunday before Christmas, Russell stated, “[Occupy] is the kind of movement that we venerate in history, yet many who live comfortably fear it in the present. Occupy is no mere ‘protest.’ The brilliance of the movement is its refusal to be reduced to specific policy demands. Occupy remains an insatiable movement of liberating creativity, an irreducible process for generating justice."

Hippy
Insatiable... liberating creativity?

You be the judge.

LSP