Cooking With LSP

Ah well, it's down to this, yet another implausible "cooking" episode with LSP. So what's the score, you gonna shoot the sauce with the Glock? 

Not so fast, epicures, the pistol's optional. You can make macaroni cheese with a CZ, a Sig, a mighty wheel gun or nothing at all. Go ahead, be defenseless in the face of the culinary threat, your call, there's no rule.

Now that we've cleared the #2A air let's get down to business. Melt 4 tbls of butter in some kind of pot, use Le Crueset if you want to ape the ways of our transnational, Illuminati elite overlords. Next up, whisk 4 tbls of flour into the melted butter. Easy as bleachbitting your hard drives with FBI help. Whisk it about on medium heat for a minute or two then add 3 cups of whole milk.

Use Shells

Stir it around for a while 'til it starts to thicken; don't worry, it will. Then grate a rectangle of cheese into the sauce and stir that, more milk if needed. Sauce in hand, add salt and pepper, some dry English mustard, Worcestershire sauce and Cayenne pepper. Who likes a bland dish, right?

In the meanwhile you've boiled up some water and pasta shells are merrily cooking away. By the way, use shells, readers,  they're better than the globalist, macaroni alternative. Add the happy natpop shells to the sauce, stir, grate some cheese, crack some pepper over the thing and...

A Typical Glass of Wine

Sling it all in the oven at 375/400 before kicking back for a glass or two of the right stuff. Hey, you've earned a break so take it. R&R over, pull the dish out of the oven and let it rest, it should be sizzling and golden brown to boot.

One I Took Earlier, Note Heavy Metal

And there it is, a delicious unity of cheese and pasta. Well done, mission accomplished. With that in mind, behold the dish and fall upon your scoff like...

Grounded

A warrior. 

#KAG

LSP

Cooking With LSP Macaroni Cheese

Excuse me, what did you just say? Cooking with LSP? It sounds impossible yet there it is and here's how.

Pull out some heavy metal and melt 4 TBLs of butter in the iron, match it with the same amount of flour. Mix it up and well done, you've made a poor man's roux. Then add 2 1/2 cups of full milk, stir it in and behold the beauty of the thing, Glock optional.

Then add cheese. Grate as much as you like into the pot, your call, there's no "rule." Stir it around until you reach the desired consistency and add more cheese and milk as required. 

Also, don't forget to throw in a teaspoon of dry mustard along with salt and pepper to taste or even Worcestershire Sauce, your call. 

That done, stir away and preheat the oven to 400*. While it's firing up have a glass of wine or 10 and ponder your culinary genius.  There it is, cheese sauce, pasta and everything else, just waiting to come together in union. 

While you're at it, resist the temptation to draw parallels with the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion and throw the thing in the oven after grating some cheese on top.

Leave it in until it's getting cripsy and then take it out and eat your scoff...

Like a Warrior,

LSP

Rain Bomb!

The Masses were said, the Sacrifice offered and it seemed right to cook up some macaroni cheese in a heavy metal pot. I wasn't sure which was best, Thin Lizzy's version of Whiskey in the Jar or Metallica's but I did know that we needed milk and cheese. Then it happened.

Rain, gentle at first then crashing down like the wrath of God on the roof of the porch, and everywhere else. Yes, a rain bomb, blitzing from the sky with indiscriminate fury. I pulled on a wax jacket and ran to the rig.

A chinking thud. It was hail, the size of a large marble bouncing off the truck and before you could say shrapnel, the sky was full of hurtling chunks of ice and rain, torrential, wind-lashed, driving rain. There was only one choice; don't give up, keep moving, reach the objective, complete the mission.

Perseverance allied with sheer dogged determination paid off, and I left Brookshire's with milk and cheese safely in hand, noting that our Old Enemy, the Weather, had changed yet again. The rain and hail was gone, leaving a rainbow in its wake.  This parting shot from the opposition curiously snuck up behind First Baptist.

How First Baptist dealt with the multi-hued aggressor is another matter again but I'll tell you this, the heavy metal macaroni cheese was delicious and all the better for being a hard fought prize.

Don't fear the reaper,

LSP