Putin Finds Elixir of Life

A series of photos has emerged proving that Russian President, Vladimir Putin, hasn't aged since at least 1920. Many are speculating that the former KGB strongman is immortal, and some suggest that the animal-loving ruler of the Russian Federation may, in fact, be a vampire.

Vampires Don't Cross Themselves

We dispute that claim, here at the Compound, and for several reasons. Unlike a vampire, Putin is frequently seen in daylight and has a reflection. He also goes to church, venerates icons and receives Communion. Vampires do none of these things.

Vampires Don't Venerate Holy Icons

However, Putin has clearly found the key to extreme longevity if not "immortality." This suggests that he may have found the Elixir of Life, and possibly the Philosopher's Stone, which turns base metal into gold.

Gold

So we call the question. Is Vladimir Putin an Alchemist and if so, what does that make Barack Obama?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Anniversaries

Here in this country town people mark the 9/11 attack by putting out flags in their front yards. Red, white and blue. I'd do that too, but some kids stole my flag when I wasn't looking. I'd better get another one.

Some of the flag bearers may even remember that today is the 2nd anniversary of the Benghazi massacre, in which Ambassador Stevens was killed by Islamic savages, but not before he was raped burned and tortured for seven hours. "What difference does it make?" declaimed Hillary Clinton. A fair bit, if you're Stevens or one of the former SEALS who died there too. Well done, SECSTATE Hillary.

But there's another anniversary today which almost everyone has forgotten, the lifting of the Great Siege of Malta, on September 11, 1565. Since May of that year, the Jihad forces of the Ottoman Turks had attempted to overcome the island's small Christian garrison, under the command of the Knights Hospitaller and their courageous Grand Master, Jean de Vallete. 

Thanks to the resolute defense of the Island and the timely arrival of a relief force of knights led by Don Garcia, the Jihad army was routed and fled to their ships. Less than twenty years later, in 1571, the Islamists attempted to dominate the Mediterranean again, hoping to capture Rome and from there  on, Europe itself. They were decisively defeated at Lepanto. 

Perhaps we recognize the pattern. Islam, wherever it's practiced thoroughly, is at war with us, following in the footsteps of its founder, the warlord Mohammed. 

Our President, however, appears to be in a state of denial. The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant isn't "Islamic", he tells us. So what are they then? Methodists? Parsees?

Don't be fooled,

LSP