What's going on in the venerable if shrinking Church of England? Plenty.
In the Diocese of Hereford wayward parson Clive Evans, 62, has been suspended for six months for performing a baptism in his underpants and touching women's bottoms during the "full immersion" ritual.
Recalling the incident, one family member said: "Clive then started to remove his shirt which I thought was fair enough seeing as he didn't want to get it wet. However when he started taking his shorts off I was shocked and thought to myself why is he undressing completely in front of my mother, my sister and I."
A disciplinary tribunal stated that there was “no extreme urgency which might conceivably be imagined to justify a state of semi-nakedness.” The Bishop of Hereford, Richard Jackson condemned the malfeasant cleric: “The behaviour of Revd Evans is completely unacceptable, and we will be keeping all those affected by this case in our prayers.
“Clergy are in a privileged position of leadership. Their congregations and the wider community hold them in trust. The professional guidelines to which they are bound make clear that this is a trust that they must not abuse.
“The behaviour and actions of Revd Evans are in no way reflective of acceptable church practice.”
Who knew that this mind blog would find itself in agreement with the Diocese of Hereford, but that's not all. Again, according to the UK’s Daily Mail, Rev Michelle Bailey, 54, has been accused of savagely attacking her female fiancée, Diane Shaw, 56.
During the alleged attack Shaw suffered two black eyes, a split nose, her ear detached from her head and multiple bruises and bite marks. In court testimony, Shaw stated:
I went over to her and she was lying over the bonnet of my Audi TT. I grabbed her hair back to pull her off of my car. She tripped on a split and fell over on the tarmac. She pulled my glasses off. I picked my frame up. She got in front of me and that’s when she really laid into me. I was punched in the face numerous times, forcefully, between four and six times. I tried to stop her but I couldn’t any longer… I got two black eyes, split nose. My right ear had became detached from my head, bite marks too and bruises to my torso.
Leaving aside the remarkable she was lying over the bonnet of my Audi TT you may have noticed this, "My right ear had become detached from my head." Wow, Bailey bit her girlfriend's ear off.
We're almost impressed, but the Church of England wasn't. Bailey's been suspended from her £40,000-a-year vicar job. What, they get that much money?
Cash aside, beware the gaily colored rainbow and its unicorn's thudding hooves.
Your Old Pal,
LSP
