Country Life in Texas

Country life in Texas is alright. Sometimes it means doing a little bit of porch 'smithing to fix a recalcitrant trigger on a Marlin 981T. Fortunately the job was simple; tighten the screw, LSP.

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At other times it's all about cleaning some rimfires after Evening Prayer. I use a bore snake, or "pull-through," as we used to call them in what was once Great Britain. 

Ruger American

Don't get me wrong, I love England, even if it is a pathetic comsymp nanny state run by a crew of corrupt and sinister Old Etonians. Good luck with that.

Justsin

Speaking of England, a recent survey (via Breitbart) reveals that 2% of CofE clergy don't believe in God and another 9% think that it's impossible to know what God's like.

White Chicken

How many of those are bishops?

Big white roosters have setup in my yard. Make of that what you will and God bless Texas.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Justin Welby Was Bronski Beat?

Rumors have surfaced that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, was a driving force in Great Britain's first ever "gay band," the Bronski Beat.

nasty

Long-lost photos of the 1980s pansexual trio appear to show an already balding but blond Welby posing with members of the smash-hit, gay-wonder pop group.

grinning

Others dismiss the claim. "Justin wasn't hanging out at the bathhouses with Barack and the Communtards," stated one expert on the 1980s, "He was busy 'taking' Africa for its oil. Everyone knows that."

Bronski

Was Welby, Anglicanism's top decision-maker, a member of the boy-band, Bronski Beat? or was he just a New World Order Illuminati shill for Elf Oil?

Rough Trade

Kick out the Jams.

LSP

Archbishop Welby and the Nunn

It seems that the Archbishop of Canterbury's Correspondence Secretary, Rev. Andrew Nunn, has been blocking heterosexual calls. Shock, horror, dismay and surprise. 

According to Virtueonline: (Viz. the repellent Stonewall)

“After a couple of months I emailed Lambeth Palace to check for a response. What I received was a curt email from Dr. Welby's correspondence secretary stating that no meeting could be arranged and that my concerns would not be considered. When I emailed to explain my concerns, from personal experience, I discovered that the gentleman who replied to me was not only openly gay but also aggressively anti-ex-gay. (VOL has since learned that the man in question is Andrew Nunn). My letter and the preview of the Acception Course had not even reached Dr. Welby or his team because his correspondence secretary had deemed it unsuitable - despite it dealing with all bullying and being closer to both the science and the position of the Church of England.”

Unh Hunh.

And here's an excerpt from one of Nunn's sermons:

"February I’ve just discovered is ‘Queer History Month’ a bit like October is‘Black History Month’. The LGBT, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered community are encouraged to celebrate their history and it’s good that this month began in Southwark with ‘Queer Question Time’ at the new Council Offices just down the road in Tooley Street.

"And I’m proud that when that history is celebrated the name of this Cathedral is written within it."

Some Bloke and Andrew Nunn

Make of that, readers, what you will. Vicious rumours that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, is "ring-fenced" by a privileged "pink mafia" of senior faerie queenes straight clergy are entirely without foundation.

Cheers,

LSP

Church of England Schools Get Gay

Thanks to a bold life-partnership between gay rights pressure group, Stonewall, and the Church of England (COE), tough new guidelines are being sent to church schools, forbidding anti-gay discrimination.

How Very Triple Gay

The 72 page report forbids COE pupils from using the word "gay" in a derogatory manner. Students will no longer be able to make homophobic statements like, "Your fish miter is really gay," or, "Plundering African oil and then becoming an Archbishop is so gay, Justin." 

Saying that women bishops are "gay" will also be forbidden, as will discriminatory comments about England being run by an elitist "pink mafia" of privileged Old Etonians.

Women Bishops Aren't Gay

Instead, Church of England schoolchildren will be taught to "revere" and "honour" the hundreds and thousands, perhaps many millions, of oppressed Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual and Transgendered (LGBT) pupils who labour under the harsh yoke of intolerance and oppression. 

Stonewall Jackson

You can read all about it here and don't make the bad mistake of confusing "Stonewall" with the real one, who was a hero.

Cheers,

LSP

Sharky's At It Again

Sharky Gets Dorky With The Pope

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Old Etonian oil executive, Justin Welby, who is popularly known as "Sharky", is backing a new Baptism service which doesn't mention sin or the devil. 

Satan?

In the existing rite, candidates are asked to "reject the devil" and "repent" of "sins." However, the Church of England's Liturgy Commission decided to remove these words in favor of more "culturally appropriate and accessible language." Now that Satan and sin have been removed, candidates will be asked to "reject evil, and all its many forms." This, presumably, will be so culturally accessible and appropriate that British atheists will be drawn to the church in droves and reverse the Church of England's drastically declining membership.

Goofy

The logic's simple and runs like this: the less there is to believe, the more people can believe. That's it, the Disbelief Gambit and it's beguiling, isn't it. If only the church lowered its membership requirements to reflect a disbelieving society then all the disbelievers will start going to church again. 

Grinny

Anglicanism and just about every other Western denomination has been deploying the Disbelief Gambit for at least 30 years, in the hope that watered-down, anodyne, dumber and dumber liturgy and doctrine will somehow convert people. But convert them to what? To nothing? They already have that in the comfort of their homes, which is exactly where they've stayed instead of darkening the doors of our churches.

The Old Crook

Welby, who gained the nickname "Sharky" for his sharklike business acumen in plundering Nigerian oil while employed by Elf oil, seems intent on following the path of recent Archbishops, all in the hope of getting disbelievers into church by making the church disbelieving itself.

Good luck with that.

LSP