Don't Mess With Texas

 

Everyone's armed, so maybe some rainbow warriors outta DC are gonna take 'em away. Maybe you've seen the film, Civil War? Rock on, kids.

Stand Steady,

LSP

Excuse Me?

 

As you were, carry on, just some pop music.

Your Musical Friend,

LSP

You're Fired

 

Maybe you haven't noticed but Scotland's preposterous diversity hire's been fired, SNLR, services no longer required. That's right, the absurd  Humza Yousaf has been sent packing after a mere month of his pathetically outrageous DEI, Rainbow Globohomo hate crime law.

Well done, Scots, kick such net worth 5MN trash to the curb,

LSP

A Typical London Sunday

 

So whaddya do on any given Sunday in London, capitol city of the Sceptred Isle? Good question and there's many options, but here in LSPland we like to go down this route. 

Viz. Wake up, this is important. Then, ablutions complete, get dressed. Maybe this involves a Harvie & Hudson shirt, a regimental or club tie, and some kind of suit, two button, three button, double breasted. Your choice, there's no rule. Then polish your shoes, like a pro.

The Best Shirts? I Call Yes

Well done, you've got this far. Next step, walk with urgency to the nearest underground railway, picking up strong covfefe on the way. Two stops later you're in Knightsbridge, marvel at the hordes of tourists getting off at this stop and join them, where are they going?

Not to shop, because these are shut 'til Noon, so perhaps they're going to Mass, just like you. A few minutes later find yourself at the Brompton Oratory, right on time for the 11.00 am Solemn High, and guess what, this large church is packed with all manner of people. Young, old, rich, poor, English, foreign, you name it, there they are, all present and correct to worship God according to the Western Rite of the Mystical Body of Christ. But hold on.

Beautiful

Parse Western Rite as an oriented Solemn High with three Sacred Ministers, in Latin with English readings, and the order of the new(ish) Mass. In other words, an Eastward facing Solemn High Latin variant of the Novus Ordo, all set to beautiful music, think Tallis and all of that. Which, dear readers, is the way liturgical reform should have gone but didn't.

Well, the proof of the pudding's in the eating and the Oratory's packed while guitar playing nun, wymxn priestess churches aren't. So. Mass over, not that the sacrifice ever ends, stride out uplifted onto the Brompton Road. Gaze at Harrods on your right and reflect on the times you've been there since a child, but don't go in.

EIC - Most Congenial

Instead, catch a cab to the East India Club, it's not far away, just off St. James, and enjoy a drink before lunch. Maybe you want a Bloody Mary, a French 75 or a Martini, whatever, your call, then enjoy smoked salmon carved off the trolley, roast beef, perfectly medium rare, and a desert. My choice is this: A scoop of chocolate ice cream and a double espresso. You see, you can mix the coffee with the ice cream and it tastes like perfection, word to the wise.

Lunch evolution over, you can go upstairs to the comfortable and historic Waterloo Room or stroll over to the In & Out (Naval & Military) to enjoy the after party before heading back to SOHO. Yes, this is still a thing and doesn't seem to have changed so very much in thirty or so years. In fact, the place seems to be recovering after the UK's heinous COVID lockdown. 

Don't be Fooled, This Place is Always Packed

Whatever, Team LSP favors the FRENCH HOUSE and the COACH & HORSES. And that's how Sunday night finishes, mission accomplished, a job well done.

Cheers,

LSP

GODZILLA

 

This one's for AJ who finds himself in China right about now. Hey, fella, we're safe here in the North Central Texas Exclusion Zone (NCTEZ). Sayn'. See you at the East India or maybe the RSC in Edinburgh.

Don't Fear The Reaper,

Ever,

LSP

Behold Devil Witch - Big Sur

 

Devil Witch

See what I'm saying? Speaking of which, an old pal asked me, at the NatLib no less, "How could you possibly support Putin?" I looked him straight in the eye and asked, "Do you support Pussy Riot? Jarvis Cocker? The LGTBQ+ rainbow agenda?"

He told me he supported none of those things, and I replied, "P Riot, Cocker, the Rainbow, all going down,  Cossack style. What's not to like?" He replied a few bites later into a NatLib bar snack, "I think, LSP, it's time for you to grow up." I thought about that for a second, "I'm afraid, old boy, that that boat's already sailed."

Speaking of which, Ma LSP had a fur coat, seal fur, which everyone called Big Fur. You get the point.

Cheers,

LSP

BACK

 

So just what, exactly, are you back from, so-called LSP? I'll tell you, an explosive tour around the Old Country. In brief: Survive the Eclipse Event, enter a portal and land at Heathrow, set up in Whitehall, take care of business, stroll 'round the corner to the jolly old NatLib and go from there, London's your oyster, and what an oyster it is.

Typical Whitehall Street Scene

Yes indeed, not least the Brompton Oratory where they celebrate the Mass in Solemn High grand style and, let the reader understand, in good time. Yep, an hour and fifteen minutes from beginning to end, concert high. 

NatLib - Shocking Slack

After that, catch a cab to St. James Square and Sunday lunch at the East India, order off the trolley like a pro and then, delicious meal over, stroll across the way to the In & Out (Naval and Military) and take advantage of their beautiful courtyard.

A Brazen Goat

Brazen courtyard goat notwithstanding, catch a fast train to Edinburgh and stay at the Royal Scots, what a congenial club. Ludlow beckons next, an idyllic market town which is rightly famous for the Blue Boar. Stop there for drinks and snacks. Next up? Back to London and Soho.

Prix Fixe

Get off at Euston, thanking God you're wearing a stab vest, catch a cab to Soho and have fun from thereon in. Maybe that involves multiple Negronis. Last leg of the tour, fly into Calgary and marvel at one gallon of milk costing EIGHT BUCKS. No kidding, something better change. Rock on.

Your Expat Pal,

LSP

Eclipsapocalypse

 

This town has gone full eclipse,  right at the time we're going to London for a Club shoot out. Stay tuned. Airport tomorrow.

LSP

Wandering Around

 

So whaddya do on Easter Tuesday? Train El Diacono to say the Mass, well done. Then wander through the sylvan boulevards of Olde Tejas to the Square. Take that in, in all its Confederate monument glory, and note the Gold Nugget Pawn's new signage.

Well done, boys, long may you reign. But what's this? Texan Pride? Is that some kind of rainbow thing? No, it is not. Reassured, glance into the shopfront of "Alterations" and spot a pink glitter mushroom. Hunh. Some kind of disco scene perhaps. And next door?

The newly opened Ember Cigar Lounge, promising fine wines, bourbon and, of course, cigars. Now, I don't even like cigars, as a rule, but ventured in to see what it was all about. And, per Ember's marketing it was about "Tradition, Honor, Excellence." Bold call, did Hill County's first cigar lounge live up to promise? 

Sure it did, in a North Central Texan Exclusion Zone kind of way. Plenty of cigars, which are traditional for a cigar lounge, and I'm sure many of them were excellent and sold honorably, give or take, fair play. Overall ambiance? Not bad at all, with some big boys turning up half-way through, so I had fun for an hour or so. But will the "high-end-cigar-bar" concept take off on the town square.

Maybe it will and I hope it does, after all, there's plenty of lawyers congregated in the townsquare hub of this county seat and hey, we could all do with a civilized place to meet and drink in the center of town, such as it is. Whatever, the guys who run this new setup have a good vision and I hope it succeeds, we'll see.

In the meanwhile, I've promised them photos from St. James and Clubland next week.

Ad Solem,

LSP

Christus Surrexit

Christus Surrexit. Maybe you'd better delete that Latin, so-called "LSP" unless you want a 4 am knock on the door by the DEI SWAT Team. That in mind, this commentary's in English, from St. John Chrysostom:

Let no one fear death, for the Death of our Savior has set us free.

He has destroyed it by enduring it.

He destroyed Hell when He descended into it.

He put it into an uproar even as it tasted of His flesh.

Isaiah foretold this when he said,

"You, O Hell, have been troubled by encountering Him below."

Hell was in an uproar because it was done away with.

It was in an uproar because it is mocked.

It was in an uproar, for it is destroyed.

It is in an uproar, for it is annihilated.

It is in an uproar, for it is now made captive.

Hell took a body, and discovered God.

It took earth, and encountered Heaven.

It took what it saw, and was overcome by what it did not see.

O death, where is thy sting?

O Hell, where is thy victory?

Christ is Risen, and you, o death, are annihilated!

Christ is Risen, and the evil ones are cast down!

Christ is Risen, and the angels rejoice!

Christ is Risen, and life is liberated!

Christ is Risen, and the tomb is emptied of its dead;

for Christ having risen from the dead,

is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.

To Him be Glory and Power forever and ever. Amen!

Yes indeed, Christ has risen,

LSP

Never Trust A Hippy

 

I rest my case, m'Lud,

LSP

Just Coz

 

Fools think they will defeat this,

LSP

Not Peace But A Sword

 

Rise Up,

LSP

I Really Hate Letterman

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No, not the person, just the... dam thing of its revoltingly smug persona. Whatev, here's Mr. Zevon, with apologies to all you people who were out there, unlike me. Saying that, a few years back this sandy haired guy pulled into the Pick 'n Steal, I think he was called "David."

So. He had a Cheetah on his T shirt. I took that flag in for a second and fired back, "Selous Scout, eh? Pamwe Chetwe." The aged veteran of a 1000 psychic and kinetic wars did a double take, recollected himself, snapped back to real time, and applauded.

"You're the only man in this town who would know that," replied my sandy haired pal. He then went on to talk of machine pistol parts, borders and Warren Zevon. Hey, rock on. I liked that guy, and fear he's gone. This little slice of rural heaven is the worse for it if so.

You Fool No One,

LSP

April Fools

Satan, notoriously, takes Easter Monday off (no he doesn't, Ed.) Sorry! Unlike Satan, we're taking a day off here at the Compound, which involves dry white wine, a beef rib for the dog and a curry in progress. Let's see how this simple recipe works out.

In other news, Scotland's gone full Rainbow Stasi and it's now a jailable offence to misgender a tranny. Like no kidding, you can do hard time in Scotland for that kind of egregious hate speech. Mispronoun some blasphemous parody of a man? Sorry, hater, you're going to jail, in Scotland. Maybe for seven years.

Quite right too. That's why we're encouraging you to report hate crime against trannies by filling in this form and sending it to Police Scotland. Don't be shy, fill it in and send. You can also call +44 999 or 101. April fools? No, this is real.

In Scotland,

LSP