Monkey Business

 

There we were, in the dead heat of a dead hot summer and we prayed, when will this heat ever end? Maybe never, so there you are at your desk, sweat dripping down onto the Dell even though your AC's running full blast like a racehorse which just can't keep up.

No kidding, the very ground is cracking under the heat and there you are, idly chopping sweating mahogany with a razor sharp kukri, chop, chop, chop, in time with failing ChiCom ceiling fan dystopia.

A knock on the door. Rap, rap, rap. You look up through the heat haze, clearing a Glock .45, "Come in!" All very Master and Commander and enter the office, and he does, a complete 5.7' of hooded aggressor. Wow, 13% produces 50% of the crime. "Where's your money at?" demands our malfeasant POC friend, waving a blunt machete and a worse than useless garbage Hi-Point.

You look hoodrat in the eye and ask, "You want money? Yeah, we all want money, so take it, it's yours, it's up the monkey, just help yourself. Hey man, have at it, feel free, it's all yours."

100% eye contact. There you are in 110* waiting on the monkey rush, call it a stand-off. So what's it gonna be? Life and death. Rush the monkey to get the cash or... not. Your call, buddy, as a dystopian fan whirs overhead, and the heat does not lessen. No, it builds.

Hoodie looks at the munificent monkey, standing tall in your corner, full off cash, a veritable simian of a floor safe, and you can see the pull of greed versus personal safety playing out in Hoodie's mind. What's it to be, rush the monkey and get the cash and die rich, or retreat out of this hot, hot room, alive.

You watch, tapping your kukri impatiently against a scarred desk, "Maybe it's time for you to go, my friend. Or maybe you want to get all up in  the Rittenhouse. Your call, go ask the monkey. It's totally up to you."

Which way would you play this utterly unlikely scenario, punters?

Cheers,

LSP

Let's Hear It For Kyle

 

What a brave and collected boy. Green haired, trans radical, Berkley, ahem educated mountebanks don't agree with this, they think hes a Nazi for daring to protect a town from the "mostly peaceful" antics of the radical left... How dare he. Some black people don't agree with this pathetic leftist consensus:

Gentlemen and women, as you were. This a mission. 

Take note,

LSP

Marine Le Pen On Fire

 

Listen up, all ye heathen, Marine Le Pen's on fire:

Ask yourselves, since when did being a patriot, and a country having borders equate with Fascism? 

Follow the money to the root of the issue, our beloved, transnational, elite, insatiable great replacement rulers. Hint, dear readers, who benefits from massive immigration? Labor, or its private island owning boss. Ponder that, reflect on it, rainbow unicorn style.

In related news, Germany's donated 20,000 HE artillery shells to the Ukraine out of its stock of, ahem, 20,000 shells, but at least they have 15 nukes. Does this mean European defense policy is equivalent to some guy walking around unarmed with a dynamite vest? You get the issue.

Regardless, and as always, your call,

LSP

Rittenhouse

Kyle Rittenhouse was defending Kenosha Wisconsin during the 2020 riots when he was attacked by three white hoodlums. Kyle shot and killed two of these mostly peaceful protesters and blew the bicep off another, Gaige Grosskreutz, who pointed a pistol at the then teenager.

Kyle was declared not guilty on all charges because he clearly acted in self defense, but now bicepless Gaige is suing the Kenosha Kid for "damages for emotional distress, humiliation, loss of enjoyment of life, and other pain and suffering on all claims."

A rapper's made a video supporting Kyle, here it is:

Carry on, as you were,

LSP

Up In Kenosha

 

Hey now, here we are, a rifleman behind every blade of grass and that's no idle boast. Yep, it's true. But really? Imagine, things go Defcon, and the cheese slides off the cracker when our worthless money implodes and trans globo rainbow tyranny can't afford to pay the Army. Oops. What then. III Corps et al decide to roll. 

Tricky spot for leftists. They're baying for moar war but hate the Army which delivers it, because not trans rainbow. This endears the Army to the Left and makes it utterly loyal to them. Ahem.

Cut to the chase: Will CONUS balkanize, is a national divorce on the cards and where will the armed power fall? I'm not a betting man but I'll wager my increasingly vicious monkey on the boys with the guns.

Adveniat,

LSP

The Rittenhouse

 

Via Kim in Substitute:

Because of all this woke bullshit, we are no longer allowed to use the word “Mozambique” for our favorite shooting drill (two shots in center-mass, one in the head) because raayyycisss.

As always, the solution can be found in the Old Country.  At the suggestion of Mr. Free Market, allow me to present the new drill, the Rittenhouse:

You may disagree, but here at the Compound we feel this infographic is awesome in its simplicity. Try the new drill, the RITTENHOUSE. Practical, eh? Thanks, RHT, for the H/T.

#2A,

LSP

KYLE ACQUITTED

 

Kyle Rittenhouse, popularly known as the Kenosha Kid, was acquitted on all charges today. Turns out it's not illegal to defend yourself against felons, pedos, and wife beaters in Kenosha. 

And we have to ask, who or what were paying these goons to set fire to this flyover Wisconsin town. Don't say Democrats. Someone once said, "In '68 they went full riot and Democrat civic authority stopped it, but not today, they encourage it."

Exactly, to the point where kids with rifles are out there protecting businesses from Bolshevik nihilists. But not just any Bolshevik nihilists, these people are corporate sponsored, media darlings.

Unlike Kyle, who, I hope, sues them into oblivion. Speaking of money, how much ca$h has BLM put into black neighborhoods? You know, 'coz Black Lives Matter so much. Would that be... none? Beachfront mansions all 'round.

In the meanwhile, Kyle walks, what a great result. I wasn't show trial expecting it.

Your Respectful Friend,

LSP

Watching The Grass Grow

There we were, out in the country, just me and the cows and we looked at one another over the gate. What's going on? Not much apart from a welcome respite from the news, and what news it is.

A show trial in Kenosha, the utter mendacity of the media, the VaxScam in which Big Pharma makes billions and you get an experimental shot which may or may not kill you. Then there's war. Curiously, my eldest says his unit's been pulled from deployment to the Ukraine along with many others. Good, he gets to go to Jordan instead. 

But imagine. Say we went to war with Russia because, I don't know, Putin's against rainbow bathrooms, what then. Would our soldiers fight to death and dismemberment on behalf of a globalist rainbow oligarchy which hates and despises them?

More succinctly, would they fight for a lie, a lie they see through because even the lowliest private can get on the internet, to say nothing of common sense. I'll leave it there. 

In the meanwhile, we've been busy watching the grass grow and that's no bad thing. There's a peace in the countryside and Karen's makes a dam fine bean/brisket. That much remains unchanged.

Your Friend,

LSP

Kyle Rittenhouse Free on Bail

 

Kyle's finally out on bail, so it seems appropriate to repost this helpful infovideo:

Congrats, Kyle, and well done all those who've defended him.

Since when was self-defense a crime?

#2A,

LSP