New World Order, We Apologize

Team LSP has an apology to make. We may have given you, the reader, the idea that the Church of England is hell-bent on creating a new super race of androgynous, talent pool, shill puppets for the New World Order. 

Some people have even accused us of accusing the venerable CofE of being a party to sinister eugenics experiments, euphemistically called "bishops," which will be the forerunners of a new race of genderless, Illuminati clone slaves.

If we've given that impression we apologize.

Rumors that interpretive liturgical dance featured at the consecration of the Bishop of St. Edmundsbury and Ipswich are entirely without foundation.

Or are they?

LSP

Are You Being Served?

boy bishop

For those of you who don't know, the Episcopal Church (TEC) is busy suing everything that moves, most recently the vaguely traditional Diocese of South Carolina. AS Haley has this to say about TEC's mindset:

"One can but marvel at the madness that drives megalomania. First of all, it knows no boundaries: no matter what the odds or the ultimate cost, everything can be sacrificed so long as the sacrifice is seen as advancing the goal, which is to annihilate anything that appears to be threatening, or that is not already under complete subjugation. And individual megalomania is as nothing compared to the institutional variety, which signals all too often the last stage of an institution's eclipse. For when the rank and file are too ensconced in their ways to see where their leaders' follies and delusions are taking them, then the outrages of those leaders grow in proportion as the institution itself declines."

crowd pleaser

Well said, Mr. Haley. 

TEC has apparently spent some $20 million in ongoing lawsuits against trads and is busy losing some 20,000 members annually.

Carry on.

LSP

Mystery Billionaire Builds Huge Yacht

A mystery billionaire has built the world's largest yacht, leading some experts to speculate that the Episcopal Church's leaderene is looking for a quick getaway from her rapidly sinking denomination.

From over three million members in the 1960s, the Episcopal Church has shrunk to a mere one million members, but only 657,000 of these can work up the energy to turn up to church for Sunday worship. That number's shrinking fast, with some 50,000 members exiting the pews every year.

that'll bring 'em in

Maybe allocating $1 million of the shrinking church's $111 million budget towards "church planting" and $13 million towards legal costs, will help to bail out Episcopalian fortunes.

sorted

There is no line item item for shipbuilding in the Episcopal Church's triennial budget. Jefferts Schori is a keen boat person and a marine biologist.

Anchors away!

LSP

Fire on the Mountain

Being a fan of Velikovsky, and catastrophism in general, I was struck by pictures of Iceland's volcanic eruption - of biblical proportion.

According to Ayatollah Sedighi, disasters like this (especially earthquakes) are caused by sin and the notoriously lax morals of Persian women.

That's ridiculous, everyone knows they're caused by Episcopalien Boy Bishop Jefferts Schori and her diminutive pelosian ally, ACoC.

In the meanwhile, ash is falling over Europe. Stay tuned for the next Ice Age - just you wait and see.

God bless,

LSP

Reptilian New Year

Dangerous Reptilian

Its long been suspected that things are not quite as they seem behind the privileged doors of '815', The Episcopal Church's (TEC) spiffy Manhattan H.Q. Above Top Secret reports on the latest round of Ecumenical discussions endorsed by the numbers-small but money-rich denomination:

"Independent sources have claimed an on-going set of face-to-face meetings between U.S. military Episcopal Church officials and extraterrestrial life.

The sources reveal that senior U.S. Navy officers Episcopal Bishops have played a leading role in an inter-services intra-denominational working group responsible for the meetings, and that different extraterrestrial groups are allegedly involved.

One source claims that the contact involves extraterrestrial groups known as Reptilians, and a siliconbased life form dubbed ‘the Conformers’. Another source claims the extraterrestrials are called Ebens from the Zeta Reticuli star system, but known colloquially as the Grays.

TEC Bishop

A third source claims that human looking extraterrestrials representing an association of star nations are liaising with military officials. Two of the sources have been interviewed by this writer who has been aware of their claims for more than a year, and finds them credible."

Thanks, ATS, for for revealing the sinister links between TEC and the Off-World takeover of our planet. Remember, to be forewarned is to be forearmed.

God Bless and Happy New Year.

LSP

Nice Pearls.

Well that's just great.

Some of you might have noticed that Boy Bishop Jefferts Schori was in Dallas the other day. She said Muslims and Gays were 'scapegoats'. Scapegoats for what? Global warming? Nuclear Prolification? World wide poverty? Injustice in the workforce? You know, if it wasn't for all those evil legions of interior designer Shiite Muslims Houston would be just fine. Whatever.

I'm off to shoot a gun.

LSP

Hospital, Church, Gun

I didn't go to the range today, but I did get my Father (via ambulance) to the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) at Methodist Hospital in Dallas this morning. It looks as though he's had a stroke and wasn't really conscious when I left to go back to the country. Difficult.

On a different theme, Pope Benedict announced a new 'structure' to receive Anglican converts into the Roman Church. Interesting news for those who want reunion with the Holy See; I think Virtueonline has the best coverage if you want to read more. Evidently the Archdruid of Canterbury, the Sharia endorsing Rowan Williams, learned about the latest popish plot at a rather late date. Well, there's nothing like being on top of the news.

Speaking of which, Boy Bishop Jefferts Schori, leader of the pelosian Episcopals, has put the boot into Bishop Keith Ackerman. He's been 'inhibited' for 'renouncing his orders' and 'abandonment of ministry', as announced at yesterday's press conference. He's done neither; he has stood for the Faith, Order and Morals of the undivided Church and made the mistake of accepting part time work (he's retired) with the Diocese of Bolivia. Well there it is, another Christian given a mauling by atheistical modern liberal humanists - masquerading as Bishops.

So here's a picture of a gun to cheer myself up.

Thanks to all who've wished my Father well.

Shoot the Lee.

LSP

Its In The Numbers

'Bonnie' Anderson, President, House of Deputies

Still in Wisconsin at the Anglican-Orthodox conference at Nashotah House Seminary; compelling addresses by Metropolitan Jonah of the Orthodox Church in America. His theme is that we can't afford disunity in the face of increasingly aggressive secularism and resurgent Islam, to say nothing of Our Lord's prayer that we should "all be one." Jonah gets my vote, unlike the pelosian Episcopal Church, which is being cagey about it's numbers. As found at Bible Belt Blogger via Stand Firm:

That didn’t match what I’d been led to believe by a very reliable source. So I asked Anderson and the Presiding Bishop about the numbers during the press conference. Here’s what they said:

BIBLE BELT BLOGGER: The ASA and membership figures for 2008 have been compiled. I’m wondering if those were shared with the Executive Council this week and what the ASA and membership figures show for 2008 for the domestic dioceses.

PRESIDENT ANDERSON: Yes. (Clears throat). Excuse me, yes, they’ve been, um, circulated to the Executive Council via electronic means but we’re not going to be talking about those per se. Our agenda’s pretty full and we’ll probably be taking those up in the future at our next meeting.

BIBLE BELT BLOGGER: Can you share, though, what the results are?

PRESIDENT ANDERSON: We don’t know. I mean we have it written out but we’ll be posting it I’m sure as soon as we’re, they’re, approved and available. But yes, you’ll be able to get them.

LOCKWOOD: But presiding bishop, can you tell us what they show?

PRESIDING BISHOP JEFFERTS SCHORI: I, I’m sorry. I’m not able to comment on that at the moment. I don’t have it in my head.

BIBLE BELT BLOGGER: Do you know approximately? Can you give an approximation? Are they up or down?

CHURCH PUBLIC AFFAIRS OFFICER NEVA RAE FOX: Frank, we need to move on now. Um, I believe the presiding officers have indicated that the figures will be available at a later time, but not right now. Thank you.

So there you have it. The numbers have been circulated, not passed out. The figures have been shared with the Most Rev. Katharine Jefferts Schori, but the theologian/scientist can’t comment on them because “I don’t have it in my head.”

Based on the above, do you think the statistics — if they were in the presiding bishop’s head — would be good news or bad news for this badly divided denomination?

Thing's don't seem to be going too well for Boy Bishop Schori and her friend "Bonnie". Hopefully they'll be better for trads in the Diocese of Fort Worth and the OCA, but more of that anon.

God bless,

LSP

Churches I Don't Like

Clown Yewkrist, Holy Trinity, Wall Street

I try to avoid religious polemic on this blog, apart from the odd playful dig at His Grace, The Lord Archdruid of Canterbury, his waspish boybishop sidekick, Katherine Schori and, of course, the slaver proponents of The Religion of Peace. But sometimes enough is enough and you have to speak out against churches like Holy Trinity, Wall Street. Why? Because of their **y Clown Eucharist. I don't like that church; I think its its a right mockery. Unfortunately its paradigmatic of the The Episcopal Church as a whole - wealthier than a truckload of Nazi Gold, and as risable as a gang of clowns. Chances are they're not even humans beneath the clown masks; no, they're probably Aliens, or robots, like Nancy Pelosi. With that in mind, I award Holy Trinity Wall Street a sturdy 9 out of 10 LSP Rubbish Church points. A high score, by anyone's reckoning.

After dwelling on that for an unwholesome ten minutes, I hoisted a Texan Flag outside the Parsonage. Uplifting.

Hang Out More Flags

Have a blessed Sunday, remember to shoot safe, stay on the horse and beware of sinister clowns, ecclesial or otherwise.

Cheers,

LSP

PS. Thanks to Texanglican for the unsettling clown picture.

Episcopalien

Image of Boy Bishop from NY Times Magazine

Back in Texas after journalistic foray to California and TEC's triennial General Convention. So what was it all about? Something called "gender identity expression" apparently, which means:

Lifting a self-imposed ban on consecrating "LGBT" persons as bishops

"Developing" same sex blessing rituals

Suing any Episcopalians who disagree and want to get out

Telling the rest of the Anglican world to get with the program or get lost

At least that's the way the world's media saw it, which prompted Jefferts Schori, pictured above, to accuse the press of "so much misinformation". Perhaps she didn't like headlines such as "House of Deputies Goes Gay", or "Retired Bishop Denies Sacrament of Marriage". Maybe she didn't appreciate attention being drawn to the fact that TEC's new budget earmarks $4 million for lawyers to sue parishes and dioceses that are busy leaving her pansexual union - at a rate of around a thousand people a week.

Anyway, as a simple country priest who likes horses and guns I don't think you have to be a genius like St. Thomas Aquinas to work out the fact that some changes in doctrine are valid developments and some aren't. The criterion, I suppose, is consistency and what TEC's been up to in Anaheim is the opposite of around 2000 years worth of teaching and scriptural warrant on Faith and Morals.

Except for a minority of Provinces on TEC's declining payroll, the vast majority of the Anglican Communion knows this and looks set to break off an already tenuous relationship with Jefferts Schori's denomination. My feeling is that she knows this and simply doesn't care.

Why? I'll stick with earlier thoughts about aliens - some say they have a large base on the dark side of the moon, I'd recommend looking a little closer to home, at 815 2nd Ave. NYC and The Episcopal Church Center.

Cheers,

LSP

PS. Here's a link to the famous fighting monkey, Jacco Macacco.

Just Tell It Like It Is.

Metropolitan Jonah

Spent the last couple of days holed up in the Press Room at St. Vincent's Cathedral, Bedford, developing carpal tunnel syndrome and trying to put out something meaningful about the first Provincial Assembly of the new 'Anglican Church in North America', or ACNA for short. Well, its not shooting, riding, or vicariously connected with your friends catching huge great fish but it was a bit of history in the making - especially Metropolitan Jonah's address this morning. He called for the full communion of Orthodoxy with the new Province. Excellent but what would Anglicans have to do to make this happen? Jonah pulled no punches:

"Full affirmation of the orthodox Faith of the Apostles and Church Fathers, the seven Ecumenical Councils, the Nicene Creed in its original form, all seven Sacraments and a rejection of ‘the heresies of the Reformation.' His Beatitude listed these in a series of ‘isms’; Calvinism, anti-sacramentalism, iconoclasm and Gnosticism. He went on, the ordination of women to the Presbyterate and their consecration as Bishops has to end if intercommunion is to occur."

Nice one Jonah, all good grist for the LSP mill, not that I have a problem with the procession of the Spirit from the Father and the Son, you understand, but what about ACNA?

Scary New York Boy Bishop

The last I heard more than a few had a perverse regard for Calvinist anti-sacramentalism - but at least they're not dismal devotees of the Sharia peddler that occupies the throne of Augustine, or fans of the Boy Bishop in New York either; maybe that will save them in the end.

I hope so, much as I dislike the 'heresies of the reformation' and the various detestable enormities of Sola Scriptura, infantile hymns and slavish devotion to Puritan 'divinity'. Despite all that, and far more, I'd like to see ACNA succeed because I think they really do want to believe the Faith, which is no bad thing. Only time will tell if they find it.

More of that anon. Looking forward to another episode of 'Horse & Stable' tomorrow a.m.

Cheers,

LSP