Friday, December 29, 2023

Hotel Food

 

The Berkley Channelling Melanis


Hotel food. Perhaps you've encountered its beastliness, pricey corporate slop served up as some kind of "treat." Huh. But I recall exceptions to the rule, the Berkley in Knightsbridge served up understated excellence and the Dorchester on Hyde Park wasn't shabby either. 


The Good Old Connaught

Then there was the famous Connaught in Mayfair; go to Mass 'round the corner and fall back to the Connaught for a roast, cell phones not allowed. All famous in their day, justifiably, but let's not forget the Stafford, just off St. James.

Sitting cheek-by-jowl to palatial Spencer House, the Stafford was all about Gilded Age luxury and had wartime cachet to boot, being the WWII Officers' Mess of various allied nations, namely America and Canada. Hence the hotel's American Bar.


The Awesome American Bar

I used to love the American Bar, where you could order up a Club BLT and get perfection, but got to know the dining room menu too well, to the point of exhaustion, it was a work thing. Pan to one night seated at starched linen and gleaming glassware. A waiter approaches and asks in a disturbing French accent, "Sir?"

A moment's reflection, "I should like a cheese omelette and chips." The beastly Dagenhamite sneered at my off the menu order and replied in fakey French, "Would sir like ketchup on his chips?" Stunned by his dam impudence I sat silent while Viscount Furness thundered, beating the table, "He'll eat what he dam well wants!"


The Dorchester, Obvs

The waiter retreated, suitably chastened, and returned with a very decent omelette.

Go to the Stafford if you're in St. James and enjoy the American Bar, I think it remains unscathed from the ravages of the last three decades. Avoid the dining room though, they've ruined it, last I saw.


Apotheosis of Awesome (Boodles)

While you're in the area, gaze in wonder at White's Beau Window and Boodles' equivalent, frown at the forbidding Whiggish facade of Brook's and take solace in the Carlton Club, formerly Arthur's, where, apparently, you're not allowed to smoke anymore. Rubbish.

Cheers,

LSP

14 comments:

  1. My London experience, circa 1965, was different. The British Army hotel had straw filled rubber mattresses and indifferent food. Exploring bars in low places was fun and drinking a few natives under the table was a way of showing the flag. I was always polite and found Rocky Mountain cowboy manners went well with the 'commoners' I met.

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    1. Rubber mattresses? Wot? A nation (or hotel clientele at any rate) of bedwetters? (NTTAWWT. We do not kink shame.)

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  2. Oh my, WSF, it's a different(ish) world.

    I think you'd recognize the place, though.

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  3. My wife was a travel agent back-in-the-day when that meant something - now long gone - and the job took her all over the planet, everywhere except Antartica. She's been to London five or six times and has always said it was her favorite city to visit.

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  4. You know, Wild, I think it might be the best. Depends where you go, of course.

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  5. London is like 40% Muslim - or it feels like it. Order the kebab - or the goat's head with rice.

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  6. RHSM, this was a hotel post, but good call, the In 'n Out's right round the corner. Must go next time I'm in town. Of course you've got the Special Forces, which is laudable. I've never been, oddly.

    Clubs aside, check out the American Bar at the Stafford next time you're in London, I used to like it a lot. Mind you, years ago.

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  7. And yes, curry's definitely on the menu. Saying that, central London seemed way less POC than, say, Dallas or Hillsboro. Elsewhere? Different story. Country towns and Edinburgh? Different story again.

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  8. England is one of the few places I would enjoy visiting. I don't travel well these days.

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  9. The past is a foreign country; it’s borders are closed, you can’t go there.
    I will not give my tourist dollars to the country the once-Great Britain has become.

    SP RN

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  10. Much of England's bizarrely beautiful, drjim, but be sure to go to the right parts.

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  11. Mike, it's all going on out there I tell you.

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  12. I do understand, SP RN, but have to say I've had great fun the last few times I've returned.

    Central London is still recognizable and fun, though far less fun than it was in the '90s, and there's still country market towns to enjoy, I like Ludlow and Pershore, Edinburgh's neat too, I always think.

    But yes, the past's border's are closed, no matter how much we try to breach them.

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