How dare a working class persynn protest against being, you know, a poor working class persynn? Wow. What. Utter. Brazen. Temerity. And hence to the Babylon Bee. Good call, Dr. Swankenstein:
NASHVILLE, TN — Sources at the major country music record labels confirmed Monday that they were "baffled" and "nonplussed" by a new country music artist who is "get this - from the actual country and making actual music."
Record executives said the "bizarre" style of country music, in which someone writes, performs, and records songs of actual quality about topics germane to people living in the actual country, "doesn't really speak to them" and is "pretty confusing."
"We just don't get it," said Bud "Dwayne" Dingles of Capitol Records Nashville. "Is it like, some sort of joke? I don't understand the punchline. Is it the beard? Because it's a nice beard, but it doesn't really make me laugh." Dingles went on to point out that the viral single "Rich Men North of Richmond" by the artist in question, Oliver Anthony, doesn't mention drinking beer while driving a truck on the backroads with a "girl all up in it" a single time, doesn't have a guest hip-hop artist, and doesn't appear to just be a pop track with a quiet banjo track added in post.
"This will never catch on, and it's antithetical to our values as the gatekeepers of country music," Dingles added. "Maybe if this Anthony fellow goes out and gets himself a college education and learns to write a catchy radio tune that's barely indistinguishable from what you hear on the pop stations, then he'll be going somewhere."
But Dingles isn't optimistic about Anthony's chances of making it in the country music industry.
"I want something peppy, something happy, something up-tempo. I want something snappy. None of this tragic lamentation crap being all sad about the actual plights of people from the actual country - that's not what country music is all about."
What a shameless Nazi Bigot Fascist. Stand back Otto Skorzeny, Himmler, Kammler, Hesse et al. And with that caveat, obey your rulers, all ye serfs.
Cheers,
LSP
You can't control the internet. I'm seeing this now on FB among my friends. Seems to have struck a nerve.
ReplyDeleteUnlike music executive, Otto Skorzeny went on to be an upstanding citizen.
ReplyDelete*Executives
ReplyDeleteNashville and modern 'country music stars' are all 'woke'. Old style country music was about ordinary people's lives, like Oliver Anthony sings about.
ReplyDeleteHow dare anyone from the disgusting working class complain about their plight! You will OBEY! You vill eat zhe bugz! You vill be microchipped! You vill live in zhe pod! You vill own nothink und be happy!
ReplyDeletefrom the actual country and making actual music. I know, LSP, how ironic. Actual country music from the country about the country - not cocaine addicts in cowboy suits crooning crap.
ReplyDeleteDo you even Haggard, Dingles?
ReplyDeleteMerle's kind of country music, Dingles. Turn down the volume on the latest Taylor Swift and do try to keep up with your customer base:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIxBmyRQlwQ
WWW- Mmmm...loving me some Haggard.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter (26, married, 2.6 kids) was a big Taylor Witch fan until TW started spouting off about woke politics. No more. My one hope is that TW successfully makes it to menopause without replication.
Thank you for the Taylor Witch thing, D-o-S. I hadn't heard that one before and have now culturally misappropriated it.
ReplyDeleteSure does, WSF, because it's true.
ReplyDeleteNote how the Left really HATE it.
Now that, BadFrog, is a very interesting point. Have you watched the short vid of his funeral?
ReplyDeleteHe was clearly Catholic. Some of the congregation? Maybe not so much.
Right on, Anon.
ReplyDeleteThat in mind, I like the Waylon & Willie evolution, but still.
YES, HERR DOKTOR!
ReplyDeleteBtw, nice rap commentary, thanks for the tip.
I know, LL, it's... appalling.
ReplyDeleteMr. WSF, that Haggard was awesome. Might well have to post.
ReplyDeleteDOS, have you showed your daughter the Tay Tay NSDAP memes? (good work /pol)
ReplyDeleteRight on, Anon. See Merle, Cash, Loretta and all the rest.
ReplyDeleteBut Swankenstein, I'm confused. The Reich is a compassionate Reich. Yes, they will own nothing, but they WILL be happy.
ReplyDeleteAre you somehow criticizing this... program?
Wild, is Mexican food an appropriation? Heh.
ReplyDeleteMexican food is not cultural misappropriation as long as it comes from a real Mexican joint run by real Mexicans. You're on your own where Taco Bell is concerned, however.
ReplyDeleteWild, I really HATE Taco Bell.
ReplyDeleteseriously.
ReplyDeleteExcellent remix! Chris Webby - North Of Richmond (Remix)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlqp-xNUbNE