The Great Nazigasm Of 2017

It was a beautiful, stirring vision. America, by 2017, was going to be a rainbow-hued, sushi-eating transutopia, all under the beneficent gaze of the country's first ever woman President, Hillary herself. Like Sweden but better and bigger. Then disaster struck, the nation elected a man who put ketchup on his steak and lived in a golden tower.

Staring in thwarted infantile agony at their field of shattered dreams, libs everywhere fell into an irrational, hysterical frenzy. Someone or something, anything but themselves, had to be at fault and there it was, Russia! Putin hacked the election, putting a Kremlin spy into the White House but Russia frenzy could only last so long under the burden of no proof whatsoever. 

That sad little unicorn wasn't going to fly despite the best efforts of Blitzer, Maddow, Waters & Co; something else was needed. And lo and behold, boom! Nazism. It was Hitler's fault!

Hitler made Donald Trump a Nazi. And we know this because Trump doesn't think statues of Confederate generals should be smashed but does think that Nazi racists and Anarcho-Marxist revolutionaries are both wrong. That's pretty National Socialist, eh? And we've always known that General Lee was a time-travelling member of the Waffen SS. Columbus, Washington, Jefferson? The Constitution? All Nazi.

The police? Nazis. Gender binary bathrooms? Nazi. Freedom of speech? Nazi. Having a border? Very Nazi. Small government and lower taxes? Disgustingly Nazi. Saying no to Islamic terror? Yes, hideously Nazi.

Perhaps you don't think that makes much sense, that it's the kind of thing someone suffering from dropped-on-head-as-infant syndrome might believe. Well then, racist, you're a Nazi  and maybe you need to change your name to Martin Bormann and stop being such a Gauleiter.

In fact, everyone who isn't a Democrat and a member of Antifa is a Nazi. And that's just the way it is in the great Nazigasm of 2017.

Let's see how long this fit of infantile rage lasts.

LSP