Halloween Scary

Have fun trick 'r treating and remember. Halloween isn't Satan's birthday.

Pretty scary demoncrat pumpkin, eh?

God bless,

LSP

Dog on the Porch

I got back from Mass yesterday and sure enough, there was a dog on the porch. A Heeler. No collar. So I gave him some food and water, expecting him to be on his way after he'd had some scoff.

This Dog Hates Libs

But no, he was there this morning, sleeping on the doormat. I fed him again, on the porch, and he followed me to  the store, and back, to his home on the porch. And that's where he's staying. Outside.

Rural Idyll

Obedient dog, sits, heels (obviously) and likes running after the pickup, just like he's supposed to do. A church lady saw him this afternoon and I asked what she thought of the beast. "That's a cow dog," she said and she'd know.

Your Home is Outside

He can stay on the porch and I'll feed him when he's not foraging; he can add an extra tier of defense to the operation, if he chooses to stay. 

Every bit will help in the coming collapse.

God bless,

LSP

Spaceman

U.S. Secretary of State, John Kerry, is like an out of control astronaut who is lost in space, say White House officials.

According to the leftist New York Times, White House staff say Kerry is like the astronaut in the film Gravity, somersaulting through space, untethered from the White House.

Out of Control

This isn't the first time that Kerry has been described as an out of control spaceman. Israel's left-leaning Haaretz newspaper described him as a space alien.

Spaceman

"It's as if he isn't the foreign minister of the world's most powerful nation, but an alien, who just disembarked his spaceship in the Mideast," wrote Barack Ravid, the paper's diplomatic editor.

"If he gets rubbished by Haaretz it means he really goofed up," said one foreign policy expert.

Limo Lib Comsymp Millionaire

Comsymp limo-lib socialist John Kerry's net worth is an estimated $194 million. His Illuminati wife, Teresa Heinz, owns assets of approximately $750 million. 

They have a prenup.

LSP

I Went to West and Got a Haircut

Typical West Street Scene

Like the song says, I was born to have adventure, so I climbed in the truck and drove to West for a haircut. They have a barber there.

He was in his 70s and had a dyed blond "fauxhawk." Pretty sharp, and I told him, "I'd like a haircut please." He replied, "Like you're 16 again and all the girls like you! Gets to where they don't even notice you if they're under 35. Yessir. Medium." So out came the clippers and off went the hair, almost all of it.

Where's Your Hair Gone, Buddy?

He wasn't very happy about being in the Korean war and thought it was pretty much "bullshit." He was even less happy about having to clean planes that had been part of the hydrogen bomb tests.

"But you look alright," I said as I paid him his clipper fee.

"I am not, internally," he replied.

Next year, when my hair's long enough to cut again, I'll go back to that barber.

If you get the chance, go to any of the bakeries in West. They're outstanding.

God bless,

LSP

Country Life in Texas

Country life in Texas is alright. Sometimes it means doing a little bit of porch 'smithing to fix a recalcitrant trigger on a Marlin 981T. Fortunately the job was simple; tighten the screw, LSP.

Add caption

At other times it's all about cleaning some rimfires after Evening Prayer. I use a bore snake, or "pull-through," as we used to call them in what was once Great Britain. 

Ruger American

Don't get me wrong, I love England, even if it is a pathetic comsymp nanny state run by a crew of corrupt and sinister Old Etonians. Good luck with that.

Justsin

Speaking of England, a recent survey (via Breitbart) reveals that 2% of CofE clergy don't believe in God and another 9% think that it's impossible to know what God's like.

White Chicken

How many of those are bishops?

Big white roosters have setup in my yard. Make of that what you will and God bless Texas.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Government Is Your Friend

Remember, don't forget, that Government is your friend.

That's why you should give it your money.

To spend wisely, on your behalf.

OK?

LSP

Episcopal Church Bishops Terrorize France

Long known as a gang of evil clowns, Episcopal Church bishops are terrorizing France, randomly attacking unsuspecting pedestrians and motorists.

In Montpelier, an Episcopal Church bishop was seen attacking a man with what appeared to be an iron bar and in Bethune, one of the scary bishops was seen chasing children with a stick.

A Couple of Clowns

In a similar incident, gangs of "clowns" were reported to be "wandering around" the port of Agde. 

"These 'bishops' have been mostly spotted outside schools, but also on public roads, in bushes, in a square. Their targets are often young children or teenagers, but also adults," said a police source in northern France.

Terrifying

The recent spate of attacks by sinister Episcopalian clowns has been met with some resistance, as citizens band together for protection against the creepy marauders. French police have appealed for calm.

Smile!

Fear of Episcopalian Bishops is known as coulrophobia.

It is entirely justified.

LSP

Justin Welby Was Bronski Beat?

Rumors have surfaced that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, was a driving force in Great Britain's first ever "gay band," the Bronski Beat.

nasty

Long-lost photos of the 1980s pansexual trio appear to show an already balding but blond Welby posing with members of the smash-hit, gay-wonder pop group.

grinning

Others dismiss the claim. "Justin wasn't hanging out at the bathhouses with Barack and the Communtards," stated one expert on the 1980s, "He was busy 'taking' Africa for its oil. Everyone knows that."

Bronski

Was Welby, Anglicanism's top decision-maker, a member of the boy-band, Bronski Beat? or was he just a New World Order Illuminati shill for Elf Oil?

Rough Trade

Kick out the Jams.

LSP

Anglican Communion Spotted?

Startling footage reveals what appears to be the Anglican Communion, hovering over the sea off the coast of Turkey.

The mysterious object was captured on film in 2008 and 2009 and seen by upwards of 20 people. Thanks to the footage being recorded by a camera capable of filming at 200 times optical, the Anglican Communion appears in great detail and seems to show what may be one or two occupants.

Turkey's National Council for the Study of Science and Technology analysed the video and determined in a report that the images of the strange craft were not a hoax.

"The objects observed on the images have a structure made of a specific material and are definitely not any kind of CGI animation or in any means a type of special effects used for simulation in a studio or for video effects. So the conclusion of this report is that the observations are not a model, marquette, or a fraud."

Dobby

Fraud or not, the Anglican Communion has been missing, perhaps lost, since the 1970s.

Has it been found, at last?

LSP

Just Throw Your Ebola In The Trash

Presented without comment. From Zerohedge.

LSP

Time Traveller?

Scientists tell us that time travel isn't possible. But recent evidence points in a different direction. The classic Keystone Kops comedic hit, In the Clutches of the Gang, was filmed in 1914. However, one of the Kops is clearly from the 21st Century.

In the Clutches of the Gang

Have we unlocked the secrets of time travel? What are our elite overlords not telling us? Was the Hope & Change Hive Mind already active in 1914? 

Evidence suggests that it was.

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

But, But, Is It Accurate?

Is it Accurate? That depends on the Knife.

How many times have you heard it? "Is it accurate??" says some plaintive shooter, looking at a gun he (it's mostly men) wants to spend a fair amount of change on. And it's not just the purchaser's fault. Cynical huckster gun shop salesmen, (they're mostly men) gull mug punters with promises of unnerving dead-eye shooting precision. "Man. This CZ is outstanding. It'll group on a dime. It's that accurate." They want their sale, of course, and the inexperienced shooter will learn soon enough that the gun's more accurate than he is. Or she is.

Get on the X, for God's sake.

My point is, the "accuracy" talk can get stupid and annoying. Shooter, get accurate by learning how to shoot.

Here's an excellent video from Hickock45 on the subject. 

Right on, Hickock and I'm jealous of your range.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Jihad Comes to Ottawa

The Jihad came to Ottawa this morning when a Muslim convert, Michael Zehaf-Bibeau, shot Corporal Nathan Cirillo, who was standing guard at the War Memorial on Parliament Hill.

Michael (Abdul) Zehaf-Bibeau

Bibeau was later shot by the Canadian Parliament's Sergeant-at-Arms, Kevin Vickers. The Muslim terror group, ISIS, has released a photo on Twitter, claiming to  show Bibeau.

Kevin Vickers

The Ottawa Jihad shooting follows another Islamic attack on Canadian soldiers earlier this week, when Martin Couture-Rouleau ran over two servicemen in the Quebec city of Saint-Jean-Sur-Richelieu. 

Corporal Nathan Cirillo

One soldier died of of his injuries; Rouleau, a convert to Islam, was chased by police and shot.

Ottawa War Memorial

Time for the West to wake up and get real about Islam.

Well done, Kevin Vickers.

Nathan Cirillo, RIP.

LSP

Elton John Says Jesus Wants Gay Marriage

Legendary pop idol and Gene Robinson look-alike, Sir Elton John, has come out swinging against the Catholic Church, stating that Jesus would have been in favor of gay marriage if he was alive today.

Gene

In an interview this weekend with Sky News, the aging genius behind smash hits such as Rocket Man and Candle in the Wind, accused the church of being "old" and "stupid."

Elton

"These are old and stupid things," said the knighted pop superstar, referring to heterosexual marriage and clerical celibacy. Sir Elton went on to say that Jesus was a Christian person who would be in favor of homosexual priests marrying other men.

"If Jesus Christ was alive today," stated the legendary pianist, "I cannot see him, as the Christian person that he was and the great person that he was, saying this could not happen."

Elton?

Like his separated-at-birth identical twin, Bishop Gene Robinson, Sir John wasn't shy of giving theological advice, telling his listeners about the nature of Christ and his Church, stating, "He (Jesus) was all about love and compassion and forgiveness and trying to bring people together, and that is what the church should be about."

Gene?

Some believe that Elton John and Gene Robinson are the same person. In the words of one Doppelganger Industry expert, "have you seen them both at the same cocktail parties? No. I thought not."

Like his namesake, Bishop Gene Robinson, Elton John will be getting gay married, sometime this year.

Mind how you go 

LSP