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Monday, August 4, 2014

Archbishop of Canterbury, Wire Guided Android?


Speculation is building that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, who is known as "Dobby", may be a guide-by-wire android.

Proof emerged during Dobby's tour to South Africa, where observers spotted a wire protruding from the back of the Archbishop's head. Previously considered a stand-alone, autonomous Artificial Intelligence (AI), it now appears that the Canterbury Class Churchbot is controlled.

Wire Guided

"All this time I thought of Dobby as sort of an autonomous evil droid - like the sorts on Star Wars. Sure, the Dark Side of the Force controlled him, but now this new revelation that he's wire guided. It's disturbing," stated a U.S. defense systems expert.

Droid

If true, the implications are worrying. What outside power is controlling the Dobby 'droid, and why? Who is at the other end of the wire; God, or something else?

LSP


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11 comments:

  1. jennyAugust 4, 2014 at 2:49 PM

    I'm no expert on droids or Dobby. But in a goodhearted effort to help, I looked through some archives. You might check here for clues:
    http://www.virtueonline.org/uk-cameron-keen-hurry-decision-over-new-archbishop

    The man in black with an earpiece and a rod attached to Welby's head could be a critical lead? As could the information about Welby's involvement in the oil industry.

    Best of luck in getting to the bottom of it. We're all counting on you.

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  2. LLAugust 4, 2014 at 3:40 PM

    We need to set up an electromagnetic pulse in the neighborhood to disable the circuitry. Sadly even giving Dobby a sock after that may not bring him back.

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  3. LSPAugust 4, 2014 at 4:15 PM

    The black robed rod handler is a sure give away.

    We'll keep digging.

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  4. LSPAugust 4, 2014 at 4:16 PM

    A quick EMP might be the only way forward, but let's not underestimate the power of the sock.

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  5. EuripidesAugust 4, 2014 at 4:40 PM

    EMPs are too expensive to set up. I'd suggest a simple pair of wire cutters.

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  6. LSPAugust 4, 2014 at 4:45 PM

    Keep it simple! Good call, Euripides.

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  7. EuripidesAugust 4, 2014 at 4:48 PM

    That's too easy....Maybe rocket-launched wire cutters with laser sighting?

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  8. jennyAugust 4, 2014 at 5:07 PM

    From a spectator's vantage point, I vote for the rocket launched snips with lasers. Perhaps with LL's flying puck as back up? But then, I tend to go for flashy things. It's not always the best option.

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  9. BorepatchAugust 4, 2014 at 6:44 PM

    Throw your sock at him. ;-)

    Can I just say, LSP, how much I enjoy these sorts of posts that you put up?

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  10. LSPAugust 4, 2014 at 6:46 PM

    Lot of mileage in those pucks.

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  11. LSPAugust 4, 2014 at 6:48 PM

    I'm afraid it'd only add fuel to the fire. But, nothing quite like a Dobby post to lift the spirits!

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