Monday, May 12, 2014

Episcopal Divinity School, Satan's Seminary


I've been criticized by some readers for pointing out that Harvard, America's massively wealthy "Kremlin on the Charles," is Satan's Vatican. "Don't waste time on that, LSP!" they say, "have a go at the Episcopal Divinity School (EDS)."

Abortion is a Blessing Ragsdale, on Right with Wife

As most people know, EDS is Satan's Seminary. Situated just a few blocks away from Harvard, the Episcopal Divinity School is led by its famous married lesbian Dean, Katherine Ragsdale. Ragsdale, like the Episcopal Church (TEC) is a strong believer in abortion and thinks it a "blessing." In her own words:

Let me hear you say it: abortion is a blessing and our work is not done. Abortion is a blessing and our work is not done. Abortion is a blessing and our work is not done.

And just in case you wonder what she really thinks:


I want to thank all of you who protect this blessing – who do this work every day: the health care providers, doctors, nurses, technicians, receptionists, who put your lives on the line to care for others (you are heroes — in my eyes, you are saints); the escorts and the activists; the lobbyists and the clinic defenders; all of you. You’re engaged in holy work.

Abortion is a Sacrament Carter Heyward, Far Right

All good infernal stuff, but what does EDS think about Jesus? Rev. Patrick Cheng, Associate Professor of Historical and Systematic Theology at Satan's Seminary, enlightens us:
In From Sin to Amazing Grace, I propose seven models of the Queer Christ: the Erotic Christ, the Out Christ, the Liberator Christ, the Transgressive Christ, the Self-Loving Christ, the Interconnected Christ, and the Hybrid Christ.
The Hybrid Christ? Who knew. Then there's everyone's favorite priestess, Carter Heyward, who used to teach at EDS. She's on the record as stating that abortion's a "sacrament." A sacrament of what, Moloch?

Rich Devil Hybrid Witch

Satan's Seminary had to sell a chunk of its property a few years back because of tanking enrollment. It's now comfortably endowed with over $70 million.

All well and good, but remember, it's harder for a rich Devil Hybrid to enter the Kingdom of Heaven than an Austin hippy to take a bath.

LSP

14 comments:

  1. !!!! I had no idea! I feel sick. Sacrament? blessing? hybridWHAT?? These people are leaders in a divinity school???
    I've got to figure out something to do to calm down. I can't even see straight.
    -- Austin hippies are downright hygienic compared to this filth.

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  2. It's all true, Jenny.

    Pretty nasty, eh?

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  3. It's all true, Jenny.

    Pretty nasty, eh?

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  4. Nasty. Bad! As for the Austin hippies...not bad, just dirty. At least we know they AREN'T funding devil's seminary, Vatican or space aliens. Maybe space aliens...

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  5. definitely space aliens.

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  6. You're sure hippies aren't bad, Anonymous?

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  7. Space aliens for sure, Jenny.

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  8. my opinion on whether hippies are "bad": dirt is dirt. But hippies stand a chance of a bath actually doing them some good. On these divinity school leaders the same amount of filth is schellacked under a thick layer of high gloss hypocrisy. Now that's bad... ain't no bath for blasphemy coated in piety.

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  9. Hippies aren't bad. They just don't know clean water when they see it. And that can mess with one's mind. Give them a chance LSP!

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  10. If you, er, insist, Anonymous.

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  11. Anonymous: Everyone knows clean water when they see it. They've just got to decide to get in.

    I'm with you on giving chances, though. Some need to see the bath before them a thousand times before they believe it might be intended for them, too.

    (would help if people in the church could stop polluting their clean water to the extent that it doesn't look much different than VCC's stock tank.)

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  12. Look, Jenny, some hippies aren't that smart. Let's face facts. See the bath? One has to DUNK the hippie in the bath for them to get with the program and maybe that isn't so bad. Just time consuming.
    If only it was so easy for Satan's seminarians....

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  13. I concede, Anonymous. :) Pretty sure you just described the way God feels about the arduous task of sanctifying ME.
    (No smarter than a hippie if I recognize clean water but am too stubborn to admit I need a good scrubbing at times...)
    Thankful for a God who loves enough to dunk.

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