Russians Force Madonna to Cover Face!

Bear Cav

Aging pop icon, Madonna, has been given the thumbs down by outraged citizens of St. Petersburg, Russia.

Illuminati Witch?

Provoked by the threat of the once youthful singer revealing her time ravaged body, angry Russians took the Material Girl to court in an attempt to prevent her from appearing on stage. 

"I heard at the concerts on this tour she pulled off her tights, and we will not have that here. We warn the organizers of the concert so that everything goes well. Otherwise they will face the harsh laws of St. Petersburg," said a concerned member of the public, Vitaly Milonov.

Forced to hide her face

Described by some plaintiffs as a "degenerate Illuminati witch", Madonna failed to appear in the closet sized St. Petersburg Court and was acquitted by Judge Vitaly Barkovsky after a 5 hour hearing.

Mistress Chronos frowns upon Madonna

However, the pint-sized former beauty was forced to wear a balaclava to cover her face during her performance. 

It is unclear whether further charges will be brought against the Michigan born singer.

Kick out the jams.

LSP