Saturday, April 2, 2022

How Very Gay

 



Via the Bee:

 

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Take that, DeSantis! In a powerful statement against the "Don't Say Gay" bill, The Episcopal Church in Florida has released a new version of their hymnal in which every song title and lyric is replaced by the word "gay." 

"We condemn DeSantis's bigoted attempt to prevent the sexual indoctrination of small children," said Episcopal Bishop Caiya Diddle. "That's why, starting today, all twelve Episcopals in Florida will sing the word 'gay' over and over and over again every Sunday until this bill is overturned." 

In addition to the song change, preachers will throw out their usual Sunday sermons and just say "gay" over and over again for 30 minutes. They will also replace traditional Sunday School with drag queen story hour so kids can get their fill of kinky classroom instruction they can no longer get in school.

"Here in the Episcopal Church, we loudly and proudly say 'gay,' just like Jesus did," said Diddle. "I look forward to singing my favorite song, "Gay," with my tiny congregation, followed by the old classic "Gay Gay in the Gay."

UPDATE: All members of the congregation have been arrested as part of a sex-trafficking sting.

 



Then there's Chechens,

LSP

15 comments:

  1. "All members of the congregation have been arrested as part of a sex-trafficking sting."

    Of course. Our "elites" hate competition.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That sounds like an April Fool's joke, Parson. And a sick one at that.

    You all be safe and God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not my parent's Episcopal church.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The thing is the “Don’t say gay” is made up by the haters…the bill doesn’t use the word. More distractions designed to run interference for the massive Dem failure. Or is it? Regardless, DeSantis makes them shake in their grody swamp boots.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kadyrov is a wee bit on the other side of sane. Of course, he is Chechen and Muslim.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm sure that the sermons in Texas are different.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Amen" will be replaced by "Aahh... men!" The First Lesbyterian church will have to think up something else to say like "Aaah...women", and the First Transcopalian church will use "Zemen", but that might sound a bit crude.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well, Mike, you have a point.

    Report yourself for reeducation immediately.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Linda, I've become a fan of the Babylon Bee :)

    Bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ain't that the truth, Jim. I've watched the carnage over the decades and it's the same with the Church of England, and Canada, and New Zealand, and Australia.

    At the end of the day, these people do not believe.

    ReplyDelete
  11. DeSantis is turning out to be quite the thing, Paul. I like it.

    BAN PEDO DISNEY.

    ReplyDelete
  12. That's weird, Sgt., I was thinking the very same thing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. We can't be boring the flock, LL.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Whoa, pewster! Nice bit of liturgics.

    ReplyDelete
  15. It's getting harder to tell the difference between the Bee and so-called "real" news.

    ReplyDelete