Today's warfighter has to deliver mission critical, cutting edge solutions in a fast-paced, high threat environment. That's why I sent the Specialist on the Compound's justly famous Jungle Warfare Training School (JWTS).
Some people go to Belize, others to SE Asia, but here in Texas we do it in house. "Take this cutting edge to the enemy, son," I announced with typical paternal affection, "And knock down the green menace. Chop, chop. That hedge won't cut itself." Quite.
Arboreal,
LSP
Trimming our hedge one day 46 years ago, I manage to cut off the end of my right ring finger. The wife was a very nine months pregnant. A neighbor volunteered to drive me to the emergency room. At 5' or so tall, she was attempting to move the driver seat forward on our 1966 Mustang. From the passenger side I attempted to release the lever in the process touching her legs. Very proper LDS lady she was. Red in the face, she took off like a LeMans driver. I pointed out the wound was a long ways from my heart and to please slow down.
ReplyDeleteThat was the last house I ever had with a hedge.
My son has been helping out a lot since he moved here. We weren't "estranged", but we just didn't know each other very well.
ReplyDelete(1) He should have been using a machete.
ReplyDelete(2) I didn't see the OPFOR but I'm sure they were hiding and were terrified at his approach.
(3) That work will never be done by Hatians, who will be on welfare.
I've seen your jungle. Here's another cutting edge solution I have found most useful--
ReplyDeletehttps://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B077VGKSWF/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
That 7-amp motor works a treat. Gets 'em on the ground and then makes short ones out of long ones.
Top topiary tip - suggest you get him to fashion it into a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier or an M1 Abrams.
ReplyDeleteLucky guy! I love whacking down bushes and trees. Since transitioning to battery operated tools my life is complete.
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday, LSP
Ahh, to be young and fit and energetic. At least he’s using the correct tool for the job and not a lawnmower (gas or sun-powered eco version)…no Darwin Award winners allowed.
ReplyDeleteBattery operated. Yes.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, we are nearing the end of the weed and vine invasion period for 2021 and will await the new attack next spring.
Snort... JEST... was 'not' fun back in the day.
ReplyDeleteYou let him use power tools. What's next, drone strikes?
ReplyDeleteWSF, that's quite a story!
ReplyDeleteThat's great news, drjim. And I'm glad my eldest's not too far away, my younger son's in Calgary and we haven't seen each other in two years because of the Bat Flu. I hate that.
ReplyDeleteThese are excellent points, LL. And yes, the enemy fled like Haitians before a cowboy.
ReplyDeleteThat looks like a very powerful solution, RHT! I could use one of those.
ReplyDeleteI like that tip a lot, Anon. And here's the thing. This hedge is large and long. I see a Nimitz class AND an Abrams.
ReplyDeleteAdrienne, now I'm jealous. Battery powered sounds very tempting.
ReplyDeleteI know, Paul. The energy of youth!
ReplyDeleteThe enemy's relentless, Kid. A bit like the Weather, when you think of it.
ReplyDeleteAh, NFO. No, ahem, gain without pain.
ReplyDeleteNow that, Chas, adds a whole new dimension to the training program. Hmmmmm.
ReplyDelete