Craven Mountebanks

The Archbishop of Mountebankery

Some of you may have noticed that the small and getting smaller Church of England had the sheer, brazen, literal temerity to publish a Pastoral Statement reaffirming heterosexual marriage. The numerically declining but Guardian strong prelates of the venerable CofE actually brought themselves to issue this:

It has always been the position of the Church of England that marriage is a creation ordinance, a gift of God in creation and a means of his grace. Marriage, defined as a faithful, committed, permanent and legally sanctioned relationship between a man and a woman making a public commitment to each other, is central to the stability and health of human society. 

OMG. Really, marriage is something that takes place between men and women, like, what? The bishops, emboldened, go on:

In the light of this understanding the Church of England teaches that “sexual intercourse, as an expression of faithful intimacy, properly belongs within marriage exclusively” (Marriage: a teaching document of the House of Bishops, 1999). Sexual relationships outside heterosexual marriage are regarded as falling short of God’s purposes for human beings.

 The Unicorn is a Vicious Beast

Sit down, take a deep breath and reflect on the miracle. Yes, the Church of England's bishops actually restated the Church's teaching on marriage. Then the rainbow revolted in a firestorm of gaily hued rage and everything fell apart. Enter craven mountebanks #1 and #2, the Archbishops of Canterbury and York, Welby and Sentamu. They apologized like beaten children for offending the genderless hivemind of the New World Order, here they are:

We as archbishops, alongside the bishops of the Church of England, apologise and take responsibility for releasing a statement last week which we acknowledge has jeopardised trust. We are very sorry and recognise the division and hurt this has caused.

Jeopardised trust? Yes you have, in the minds of faithful Christians everywhere as you capsize and cower under the threat of the thudding hooves of the dominant rainbow unicorn. We are very sorry, yes, you should be, for being weak, ineffectual, cowardly, Quisling, false apostles.

At what point, we have to ask, will white lib self-loathing come to an end, to say nothing of bishops gaining the courage to openly profess the Faith.

Craven Mountebank #1 and Craven Mountebank #2

Compound consensus says  things'll get worse before they get better, see the Benedict Option. In the meanwhile, behold the apostate face of Canterbury and York.

Your Old Ally,

LSP