Wednesday, February 27, 2019

CAPITOL HILL RATFEST




Did you watch the RATFEST on Capitol Hill today, in which a giant lying RAT testified before Congress?

The RAT was called out a couple of times for LYING, even CNN said so, which you gotta admit's saying something.




At one point the RAT was hit with a FARA criminal referral, which was pretty awesome, and a Muslim congressperson got called out for virtue signalling racism. Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) didn't like Mark Meadows presenting a woman of color as evidence against the RAT.

And so it span on, with the giant RAT accusing Trump of racism, evil, lying, racism, evil and talking to Julian Assange and being a Russian agent. The RAT didn't have any evidence, just its own RATLIKE say so. Not dissimilar, when you think about it, to the Russian Collusion investigation itself.




Apparently that's about to collapse because of a total lack of evidence, despite two years and millions of dollars spent in the effort. 

Maybe the Democrats thought they could keep the narrative going and stoke the frenzy of non-existent public outrage over a non-existent crime by exhibiting a LYING RAT before Congress.




Apparently it's the first time a person convicted of lying to Congress has been summoned to testify before Congress because, well, such a convincing witness. 

As the RAT shuffles off in handcuffs to serve time for its many crimes, the American public is rioting in the streets and demanding the impeachment of the President. Except that it isn't.




Good work, Democrats. Whatever PR firm told you to hire a GIANT RAT to boost you at the polls needs to be fired. 

In other more interesting news, a porn star who threatened to blow the lid off an international pedo ring has been found suicided and Trump's working on an historic peace deal with North Korea. 

India and Pakistan, on the other hand, are at the brink of war and everywhere you turn some tranny's beating real women at a sporting event. This seems unfair, unlike AJ's awesome appearance on Rogan, a must-see (AJ, stop interrupting...).




Whatever, here in the newsroom we deal in realpolitik and with that in mind remember, nobody likes a RAT.

Your Friend,

LSP

12 comments:

  1. I've never understood Cohen. What ever happened to lawyer/client privilege? A lawyers duty to keep his clients business private? Many in Congress are themselves lawyers. Why aren't they up in arms about the betrayal of the mosts basic principal of their profession? Ah, I'm just an uneducated deplorable who doesn't see the nuances.

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  2. I know, whatever happened to that? It seems we're devolving, and fast.

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  3. He's going to have to open his mouth a lot wider than that when he plays "Mummy's and Daddy's" in gaol.

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  4. Yes, the more interesting factoid is that Cohen does "look" a lot like a rat.

    You know, they are using lawyers for medical experimentation now instead of rats.

    It's true.

    Here are the reasons why:

    (1) Rats are cuddly and, lawyers are not. You don't get attached to lawyers in the way you do to rats.

    (2) There are more lawyers than there are rats. It's a supply and demand thing.

    (3) There are some things rats just won't do.


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  5. I much prefer the pizza rat from a few years back that bravely tried to carry an entire slice of pizza down the subway stairs.

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  6. I think perhaps Alan Sherman was anticipating this when he recorded this song 50+ years ago.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkUcqNnotLQ

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  7. Didn't watch and did my best not to listen. I don't believe anything he says. They found his price. Probably 13 pieces of silver.

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  8. Juliette, I'm no expert but I've been told that RATS aren't well liked in gaol.

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  9. Those are all excellent points, LL. But what happens when you get a rat/lawyer combo? Evidence suggests that it breeds up the rodent to gigantic proportions, that it becomes a GIANT RAT.

    This, apparently, has all the worst characteristics of both breeds and none of the saving qualities of the natural rat. For example, the GIANT RAT isn't cuddly like its smaller cousins but lies, plots and schemes like the worst of lawyers.

    Hopefully science and biology will find a way to exterminate this menace.

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  10. That's a good point, Infidel. The pizza rat was comparatively honest and no more dirty.

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