Was it celestial outrage over the British Army's new ad campaign, heavenly anger at the MillSoc antics of Moby and Sean Penn or just our old enemy, the weather, getting back at Texas for failing to pay a tribute tax? Who knows but for whatever reason, ice began to fall from the sky last night.
Apocalypse
It started off as freezing rain, driven by icy blasts of bonesplitting wind that swept the porch as though it were the open bridge of a ship in a winter gale. Then the rain turned to ice, followed by tiny shards of snow.
Sure, if this was Calgary everyone would be heaving a sigh of relief at the warmth of it all but this is Texas and -9+ is something to be conjured with, to say nothing of Sky Ice.
Eschaton
The day dawned to a scene of frozen stasis. Nothing moved except a man and a blue dog on their way to the Pick 'n Steal, which was miraculously open. Then it hit me, an epiphany or eureka moment. Go to Walmart and buy a butt roast and slow cook that porcine beast until it's fall off the bone tender. And that's what I did.
The End of The World
Walmart was empty, you could fire off a canon and not hit anyone, but the pork was there. It's rubbed and ready for the Compound's oven, while we clean weapons, load magazines and dare the Weather to do its worst.
Invictus,
LSP
It's bold of you to challenge the weather as you have. A pork roast along with the usual vegetables sounds good. In CA it's shirtsleeve weather and I had the A/C on in the truck when I drove to Costco before noon. Then again, I can assure you that we pay the weather tax here along with a tax for every social justice cause imaginable except for those that might do some good...those are not supported by tax dollars.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised that the blue dog walked to the store with you. He should have just walked to the truck and howled, demanding a ride.
This may be your new theme song? ICE ICE BABY - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rog8ou-ZepE
ReplyDelete