More London Jihad, COBRA Meet CREEP

The Islamic terror group ISIS has claimed responsibility for today's bomb attack on London's Underground, which wounded some 29 people on a District Line train.

Fortunately the bucket bomb only caused burns instead of fatalities as it sent a fireball through a crowded passenger carriage during rush hour.

The Underground blast is the fourth terror attack carried out by the religion of never-ending peace in Britain this year. Muslim fanatics killed 5 people on Westminster Bridge in March, 22 people at an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester in May, and 8 people on London Bridge in June.

Law Enforcement hasn't been idle in the face of this threat, reportedly making 379 terrorism related arrests so far this year. However, police have warned that there's "no such thing as a 'typical terrorist'."

Nothing Typical About These Terrorists

British Prime Minister, Theresa May, has raised the country's terror threat level to "critical" and called a special anti-terrorist meeting of COBRA.  And you have to feel sorry for COBRA, how will they be able to protect their country when they can't identify the enemy. 

Nothing Typical About Salman

After all, according to the police, there's nothing "typical" about the terrorists, there isn't a type who commits these these crimes, there's no common motive or ideology, no unifying creed, belief or ethnicity. So who are they? COBRA scratches its head in baffled bewilderment along with their lesser allies in the Met.

Khalid Masood? Not Typical

Here at the Compound we've decided to be proactive and help out our transatlantic allies, which is why we've fired up our predictive crime software, CREEP (Criminal Recognition Enemy Engagement Prediction), and crunched the numbers. The results are as shocking as they're surprising.

Four out of five major terrorist acts in the UK this year were carried out by Muslims. That's right, Muslims, followers of the Prophet Mohammed.

Over to you, COBRA.

LSP