Ice Creature (warning -- Muslims & Vegetarians won't like this)

A churchman kindly invited me to a hog hunt on his lease over the weekend, but I couldn't go because I had to say Mass on Sunday. I'm sure you understand, it goes with the territory.

Put it on Ice

However, I did get a pig as a consolation prize. The hog was gutted, iced, and fit neatly into a cooler in the back of the rig. 

Hang it up on The Porch Over a Tarp

Next step, take the cooler out of the bed of the truck, trying not to give yourself a hernia. Weightlifting over, lay out a tarp and hang the porker up on the front porch by its hind legs, out of the driving Texan rain.

Put on Some Gloves, Get a Knife

Put on some gloves and take up a sharp knife, I used a filet knife from Walmart ($2.00), and cut around the skin on the hoof end of the leg, then lengthwise down the front of the leg. Work the skin off and down the carcass until it hangs like a cape over the head of the pig.

Nearly There

Stop for a while and look at the pig that died so that you can live off its meat. Thanks for the sacrifice, creature of pork. 

Take The Meat Off The Back

You're now ready to get the meat; take out the tenderloins and the backstraps, then cut off the legs, slicing along the hips. You should be able to work your knife into the ball joints and pop them out, top and bottom.

Well Done, Now You've Got Some Pork

Two legs of ham later, it's time for the shoulders, cut as much meat off as you can. Clean up the mess, hose down your meat and put it in the freezer. Congratulate yourself on a job well done.

Meat in The Freezer

A friend or two threaten to visit for a feast, "honestly hunted meat is allowed during Lent," they tell me, "just not on Fridays." 

That has the ring of truth to it.

LSP