Church of England Found Wrecked in London Suburb

Police in Kingston, Southwest London, discovered the wreckage of the Church of England, in the middle of a suburban road.

A worried member of the public called the police last Friday, reporting a mysterious object on fire, next to a traffic island. When police arrived at the crash site they "couldn't believe their eyes" and wondered if they had found a UFO.

According to a police post on Facebook, “Officers from Emergency Response Team A were dispatched along with the London Fire Brigade. When they arrived on scene they couldn’t believe their eyes!”

“The officers that arrived on scene described the item as looking like a crash landed UFO! But it was just the Church of Egland [sic]."

Giles Fraser

How the Church of England ended up on fire in the middle of Malden Road, Kingston, is a mystery. Police have appealed to the public for help in solving what may be a crime.

Crowley

In the meanwhile, celebrity Aleister Crowley lookalike, Rev. Giles Fraser, has suggested that the Church of England can escape from its crash by worshiping in tents, like Moses. "Moses didn’t have to worry about the hole in the roof," stated Fraser in a recent article for the shariasymp Guardian, "He worshipped in tents not temples. And we must learn to do the same."

Good luck, CofE,

LSP