Thursday, July 30, 2015

Pet Lion Sold For Body Parts!!


Everyone's favorite pet lion, Cecil, has been shot by a vicious white cash hunter, and sold for body parts. The world is enraged. Cecil's vital organs can be bought for just:



Liver:  $1000



Heart:  $1800



Lungs:  $1600



Intestine:  $800



Eyes:  $500




So go on, take your pick. It's just "tissue." And if you think our new normal resembles Soylent Green, but only a lot sicker, well, maybe you have a point.



And remember this, Soylent Green is made out of people.

Chow down,

LSP


12 comments:

  1. Yes, it's a lot like rhinos being killed for their horns, which are shipped to Asia where Asian men buy the horn to add a bit of lead to the pencil, as it were. There is national outrage at a rhino, murdered for its horn. Babies don't enjoy even a modicum of similar respect do they?

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  2. I really can't get outraged over this like the social justice warriors are. With over 50,000,000 abortions in America since 1973 and people are going crazy because a lion was killed? So we are going to destroy this poor guy's life? Mia Farrow is tweeting his home address? If anything happens to him she should be arrested for murder.

    The world is insane.

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    Replies
    1. Who is this "Mia" Farrow, anyway. And why hasn't Gwinny said anything?

      I'm off to get a nourishing lunch of Soylent Green.

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  3. What's all the fuss? He's named for Cecil Rhodes, namesake of Rhodesia, the previous name of Zimbabwe, so this dentist was just helping remove symbols of the big, bad colonial period. That area (greater southern Africa) is as bad as the US liberals, with the trend of anti-colonialism historical revisionism seeking to tear down their non-black history.

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    Replies
    1. I understand a fair few have found a home in Botswana. Interesting.

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  4. In 21st century western culture animals have 'rights', unborn members of our species don't. Darwin sure didn't see that one coming - fetishizing other species whilst ignoring our own.

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  5. When you go for your next brisket burrito, please specify lion brisket.

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  6. I think there's a bidding war on the Chinese ebay for the reproductive parts.

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  7. I'm interested in buying a taxidermy stuffed lion for my living room. If you meet the dentist, see if he'd sell me Cecil. (I don't need the reproductive organs intact, if it costs more)

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  8. I do like lion brisket, LL. Tasty.

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  9. It's a brisk trade, Mattexian.

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