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Friday, November 7, 2014

Anglican Church of Canada, Run by Dead Space Alien?


Recent evidence suggests that the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) isn't controlled by human beings but by the spirit of a dead alien space creature.

Wrong

Proof emerged in Gosford, where Archdeacon Rod Bower is campaigning for radical Islam and the subjugation of women.

Right

Good call, Rod, and it's all fun and games until you wake up and find ISIS has chopped your buddy's head off.

Please, Canadians, put the brakes on the spaceship. And thanks, Samizdat.

LSP 
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7 comments:

  1. LLNovember 7, 2014 at 9:41 PM

    Archdeacon...how does the rank structure work. Is Archimandrite in the mix, because I like the way that title sounds.

    All that aside, I think that Occam's Razor dictates that the dead space alien theory is correct.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LSPNovember 7, 2014 at 9:59 PM

    Rank structure's the subject of a different post but...

    Occam's Razor? Dead space alien? Let's hear it for ACoC.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LLNovember 8, 2014 at 2:30 AM

    Occam's Razor - the only logical explanation is that the dead space alien is in charge. Any other suggestion doesn't hold water.

    Which suggests that a parson wearing a cowboy hat and packing a .45 on his hip (dog named Blue in the pick-up truck) would not be embraced in Canada. There is a disconnect between Texas and dead aliens.

    I'm taking a leap here, but it may be that the size of the metal belt buckle deflects radio waves coming from the mother ship, in orbit around Venus.

    ReplyDelete
  4. LSPNovember 8, 2014 at 6:17 AM

    These are all good points, although Alberta seems to have a liking for hats, dogs and guns, belt buckles too.

    Maybe they're shielded.

    Toronto? Not so much.

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  5. LLNovember 8, 2014 at 6:20 AM

    Calgary especially would seem to sit in a vortex area. Montreal is completely unshielded.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LLNovember 8, 2014 at 10:49 AM

    When I look at portly Archdeacon Rod Bower, I can't help but wonder if there are actually two beings under the cassock.

    (1) The mortal remains of what once (might have been a Godly man) was Bower.

    (2) The Alien in his belly that controls him, and has an insatiable desire for pork ribs, corn bread, and Snickers bars.

    ReplyDelete
  7. LSPNovember 8, 2014 at 10:54 AM

    That's definitely true for Calgary and I'd imagine you're right about Montreal, but I haven't been there. I'd also imagine Vancouver is pretty off-world. Like Austin or san Fran, but in BC.

    But poor old Rod! It's got to be hard being controlled by a belly alien, constantly commanding him to "get more food, get more food!"

    ReplyDelete