Archbishop of Canterbury Leaves Club For Siberian Sinkhole?

Speculation is building that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, is using a mysterious sinkhole in Siberia as an underground HQ, after he announced plans to resign from the exclusive Traveller's Club in London.

Traveller's

For years, Welby, who is popularly known as "Dobby", used the Traveller's Club in London's swanky Pall Mall as a base. However, the prestigious club voted against allowing women to become members, which is at odds with the Archbishop's enthusiastic endorsement of women bishops. According to Lambeth Palace, "He can't remember the vote, which is usually done via correspondence, but would have voted for the inclusion of women."

Not Traveller's

As Welby signaled his intention to leave the smart London club, an anomalous 262' deep sinkhole appeared in Siberia, revealing a path to the earth's unexplored interior. A team of Russian scientists is investigating the bizarre hole and believe it may have been caused by an explosion of ice and methane, brought on by Global Warming. 

Dobby's Chinos

"Global warming may have caused an 'alarming' melt in the under-soil ice, released gas and causing an effect like the popping of a Champagne bottle cork, Ms Kurchatova suggests," stated one expert.

Priestesses

Champagne corks were popping as the CofE voted for women bishops, coinciding with the appearance of the sinkhole.

Siberia

Unlike Welby's new underground Siberian base, the Traveller's Club remains opposed to women members. “Pretty, elegant and interesting women would have no interest in joining our club,” said one member.

I like the Traveller's.

LSP