Rev. "Meth" Flowers, a Sordid Tale of Criminality and Vice

Rev. "Meth" Flowers

It can't be easy being a Labour Councillor, a bank boss and a Methodist clergyperson, so what do you do? You know, to relieve the stress? For Rev. "Meth" Flowers the answer was apparently simple, party on down in an orgiastic haze of coke, ketamine, rent boys and speed.

Speed

According to U.K. press, "Meth" Flowers used company email while he was Chairman of the Co-op bank to hook up with male prostitutes that he took on expensive dinner dates, before  drug-fueled gay threesomes. 

Coke

The paunchy moneyman was certainly up for it, "I knew what he did for a living and couldn't believe how debauched he was," stated one rent boy, Ciaron Dodd, 21.

"Special K"

While "Meth" was boss of the Co-op, the bank merged with the Britannia Building Society, taking on multi-million pound bad debt that came to light during its recent abortive attempt to acquire 632 Lloyds bank branches. 

Fail

The Co-op's debt rating has been downgraded to "junk" status, and the failed bank now stands to lose 70% of it's business to a consortium of buccaneering U.S. Hedge Funds, including Aurelius Capital and other investors. 

"Meth" 

"Meth" has been downgraded too and was suspended from the Labour Party, despite giving the improbably named Ed "FiddyK" Balls, Labour's Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, a donation of 50,000 pounds. 

FiddyK

Rev. "Meth" Flowers, who is under police investigation, is currently in hiding. You can read all about this sad and sordid tale of sleazy skulduggery here, here, here, and here.

Cheers,

LSP