Saturday, August 31, 2013

TEC Loses

Like the Shoes

The Texas Supreme Court ruled yesterday against the declining off-world gender advocacy group known as the Episcopal Church, or TEC for short. The Court's decision overturned a previous ruling, by Judge Chupp, ordering the traditionalist Diocese of Fort Worth, which left TEC in 2008, to turn over all it's property to the dwindling denomination. 

Yesterday's decision comes after nearly 5 years of litigation brought on by the Episcopal Church in its desperate bid to seize the departing dioceses' assets, and may spell an end to the small Church's use of the Hotel California Offense (HCO) and the We're Boss We Own You attack (WEBWOY). 

Not Allowed

According to the HCO, a diocese can check-in to the shrinking denomination but it can't check-out, because a church law known as the Dennis Canon states that all church property is automatically held in trust for TEC after a diocese joins the diminutive denomination. WEBWOY states that the numerically challenged Episcopal Church is hierarchical and therefore all church assets belong to it, that it's the Boss and owns everything.

However, the Texas Supreme Court decided that WEBWOY does not trump neutral principles of  law and that the HCO, based on the Dennis Canon, is  not admissible in Texas. The case now goes back to Judge Chupp for reconsideration and the Diocese of Fort Worth gets to keep its property pending a new ruling by Chupp. It also means that I don't get evicted from my house by the Church of Tolerance and Love.


So, much rejoicing in Fort Worth, wailing and gnashing of teeth in the moneyed corridors of TEC. You can read all about it on A.S. Haley's excellent Anglican Curmudgeon.



Thursday, August 29, 2013

Catch Fish, Welby Goes Gay!

1st Second of Forever

I was going to head off to "Slap Out" to ride but the plan changed. Instead of driving to Hubbard, where they're "slap out" of stuff, I drove towards Itasca and visited a parishioner with a stocked stock tank. The plan was simple, catch fish, LSP!


With this objective front and center of the mental HUD I drove across the fields to the tank, parked up under the shade of a tree and gazed at the water. There were fish there, I knew that. Blue Gill, Catfish, Bass. How to get them?


I decided on a twofold approach. Drop some bait for the cats under a slip bobber towards the center of the tank and cast with smallish lures with rod #2 while waiting for the cats to bite. The casting part of the plan worked pretty well, with 6 Bass striking the lures. 

Das Boot

Their favorite, interestingly, was a small white chatterbait with a silver grub, and without the skirt, turning it into a kind of jig. A "chatterjig" I suppose; whatever, the Bass loved it and I lost track and time of the bobber, which drifted gently to the shore without catching much except an early catfish.

How did you get here?

Now, the odd thing about this episode is that the tank is obviously rich in Bass but it was never stocked with them. A miracle, obviously. 

how very gay

In other news, old Etonian oil executive, Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, has gone gay(er). You can read about it in the Telegraph. Welby, you'll note, has fish on his miter; he wasn't at the tank this afternoon.



Wednesday, August 28, 2013

McCommas Bluff

The Mystery of the Trinity

You get a glimpse of beckoning potential mystery as you look downstream on the Trinity river from the Santa Fe trestle and its peculiar Standing Wave. Dallas before Dallas, sort of thing. According to early surveyors the area was remarkably rich in wildlife of all kinds. Danger too, from hostile Indians. Here's part of Warren Ferris' account of Dallas in the 1840s.

Everywhere deer, turkeys and prairie chickens were as thick as ants on a hill, with bear, panthers, wolves and wildcats keeping in the daytime to the river and creek bottoms, but after dark issuing forth to ravage the plains and startle the night with uncouth shadows, and hideous screaming and howling.

I saw in the picturesque regions there much of the wild soul-stirring scenes with which I had been so familiar in the Mountains. Thousands of buffalo and wild horses were everywhere to be met with. Deer and turkeys always in view and occasional bear would sometimes cross our path. Wolves and buzzards became our familiar acquaintances and in the river we found abundance of fish from minnows to 8 footers. The prairies are boundless and present a most beautiful appearance being extremely fertile and crowned with flowers of every hue.

The Trinity Rolls On

With Ferris' words in mind, I drove to McCommas Bluffs, overlooking the Trinity as it flows through its forest. You get there from Riverwood Road off of Loop 12 but be careful, the road dead ends at the Bluffs and is, or was, a dumping ground for stolen vehicles and worse. I didn't see any of that and rambled down the newly reinforced Bluff to the river, rod in hand.

View from the Bluffs

Looking downstream you can see the remains of a dam that was built at the turn of the last century with a view to making the Trinity an industrially navigable river. Its reverted to nature and I had fun casting into the rapids upstream of the structure. It was tantalizing to see big fish hanging in the current, ignoring my bait, but fun trying to change their attitude. I'll return with a different set of tactics.


As it began to rain I headed back along the base of the limestone bluffs, stopping for an occasional cast and reflection on the history of the place. Not that long ago, easily within living memory of World War I, the spot I was standing on was pretty much unexplored wilderness. 


It has something of that feel today and if you stay quiet and still for long enough, chances are you'll be rewarded with the sight of a great Gar rolling up midstream in the slow moving bend of the Trinity river as it flows beneath the Bluffs and the trees.

Big thanks to the excellent Trinity Trails blog for the inspiration.

Word to the wise, if you go exploring in South Dallas mind how you go; perhaps invest in a CHL, or go with armed friends, or something.

God bless,


Tuesday, August 27, 2013

War Drums & the Axis of Gayness

Pounding the Drum

It wasn't that long ago that we had an Axis of Evil, which was W's way of describing Iran, Iraq and North Korea. Similar, come to think of it, to the Evil Empire of the Reagan era, but smaller and more Muslim. All well and good, but now we have a new Axis, the Axis of Gayness, in which the world's gayest countries, England, France and America are lining up to unleash all kinds of gender sensitivity training on Syria. 

Kind to Animals, Family Values

According to Orientalists, the Axis of Gayness is attempting to topple the brutal Syrian homophobe, Assad, and replace him by LGBT allies, Al Quaeda. 


They are opposed by the Fulcrum of Straightness, Vlad Putin, who believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman. Putin has outlawed gay propaganda in Russia, provoking outrage and shock in the Axis of Gayness' member states. 

Prime Minister Statesman

For example, well-known British thespian and statesman, Stephen Fry, described Putin as "oafish" and "stupid" in a heartfelt open letter to gay activist Prime Minister and Old Etonian, David Cameron.

Gay Activist Thesp

Only 9% of Americans are in favor of yet another military intervention in the Middle East, even fewer are LGB or "Trans." 

Come on now. Let's stop, take a deep breath and put the war drums away.


Monday, August 26, 2013

5 Mile Creek

Down in the Canyon

I'd always thought that the various creeks which flow into the Trinity river were either built over, inaccessible or not worth seeing in the first place. That's not entirely true, some are worth tracking down and scouting out; I'd include 5 mile Creek on the list. 

Clear and Cool

It meanders through parts of South Dallas, remarkably clear and cold. I got to it via Polk and 67 then followed it West. The creek is, I think, navigable on foot if you have a good set of waders, a machete or two and maybe a carbine and a pistol for close defense.

Many Fish

But seriously, the water's cut canyons over the centuries, which are off-putting to the crackheads, ne'er do wells and the assorted flotsam and jetsam that make up the scary part of the South Dallas demographic. It's also surrounded on either bank by thickish brush. Regardless, I didn't attempt to walk anything like its length and just checked out salient points after parking the truck.

Spot the Crane

The waters were as clear as advertised and pleasantly cool; the noise of the city is soaked up too and you have the place in silence. It's not hard to imagine the area as it was 150 years ago, wild and unsettled and I enjoyed watching the fish which are curiously iridescent because of the clarity of the water. They shoal and eddy in great numbers.

Intrepid Explorer

It's possible, I've read, to fish the creek and there's certainly no shortage of fish but they all seemed very small. There's doubtless good holes that'd reward the adventurous urban angler but I didn't have the time or patience to find them. I did find a wood crane though; it loomed up prehistorically from the brush.

5 Mile Creek? Well worth the visit.


Friday, August 23, 2013

The Standing Wave


Dallas is a strange place. One minute you're there on the corner of Crack and Grand and the next you're at this "water feature" within sight of the glass cathedrals to Mammon that make up the city's skyline.

Downtown from the Trinity

What happened was that the City decided to create a white-water fun zone called the Standing Wave on the Trinity river and several million dollars later there's a series of quasi dams underneath and immediately downstream from the Santa Fe trestle and the modern DART light rail bridge. Its part of a larger plan to turn the Trinity into an enjoyable, attractive, accessible asset rather than a dumping ground for noxious chemicals, trash and body parts.

Standing Wave Santa Fe Trestle

The water boils and churns and is, apparently, far too dangerous for the kind of fun-for-all-the-family kayaking that the City Fathers envisaged. So perhaps the scheme needs honing, but whatever, it's a fish magnet.

Nice Natural landscaping, Dallas...

I like to go there after early Mass on Fridays and try my luck against the monster Gar, Channel Cats, and Buffalo fish that seem to love the Standing Wave. Mostly it's deserted and I have the place to myself, which is good. But sometimes I get company, like the Bow Fish Killer (BFK).


There I am, lost in the world of trying to get Buffalo fish to swallow the worm that hides the #8 hook, when all of a sudden I hear a hiss and turn around. There's a dude with a compound bow and dark Terminator shades looking at me and tweaking. Our conversation went something like this:

BFK: SSSS!! Twk, Twk!!
LSP: S'up?
BFK: Any Gar? Alligator Gar?!?
LSP: For sure...
BFK: There's Buffs (Buffalo fish) man.
LSP:  I know (I was trying to catch them).

And there is that Leviathan

Next thing I know, my new pal BFK is leaping downstream waving his bow and the next minute he's back carrying this huge "Buff" which he's shot through the gut. He throws it down to me as a ind of offering.

BFK: Here you go man, cut bait!!
LSP: Er, thanks. Right on!

Full of bloodlust, BFK runs off to get another Buff to hack up and use as Gar bait.

Little Fella

I'm no prude and have nothing against cut bait or bow fishing in the right circs but... things were getting weird, so I packed up, climbed in the truck and headed for home.

Fish on,


Thursday, August 22, 2013

And so it Begins...

A Small Gar

I've always enjoyed fishing, a lot, but haven't made the time to do much of it. I've been correcting that bad omission in a concerted effort to become a better all 'round sportsman.

Random Lee

Good goal, eh? I like getting out on the water and seeing the fish glide by like submarines, or exploding up like fierce missiles. Then there's the prehistoric, living fossil Gars who surge up, inspect your bait, roll sideways to give you the beady pleistocene eye and surge off again in search of less threatening things. 

Rare Catch at the Tailrace

That's all good, it's even better when you actually catch something, and bask in that oddly self-satisfied "I've caught a fish!" sort of feeling. Well, it is very satisfying.

More on that later and with it, the mysterious Trinity river that flows through Dallas and North America's largest hardwood forest.

No Wedding Bells For Chelsea

In other news, a wedding photographer has been told by the state that she can't refuse to work a lesbian wedding. All in the name of tolerance. Nice. 

Fish on,


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Hey, Move to Detroit!

come on, move to Detroit!

Last time we checked into Detroit my old friend Red had been putting rounds down range in the local crack house on Commonwealth. He got off, no harm no foul sort of deal. But things have escalated. The onetime Motorcity is now bankrupt and fixin' to become a city of ghosts.

Not to worry. Detroit is so totally a "one off" and the unicorn will come and save you! With all the helpful money its borrowed, or invented, or stolen somehow.

In the meanwhile, America's "middle class" rates 27th in the world, apparently, and our cities are off the hook urban hellholes doing just fine. 

Good luck, hope 'n change,


Wednesday, July 17, 2013


Boat Team

I'm pretty keen to avoid the old "he's right out of central casting" charge, so I went out and got a boat. Just an ancient aluminium V hull, with a view towards getting out on the lakes for a bit of casting and, perhaps, duck hunting.


The boat's a bit of a project but look, it floats (I made sure) and it came with a trailer and a trolling motor, both of which work. The two last make the whole deal financially worthwhile. So that's alright then.

Get out and fish, or shoot, or whatever.

God bless,


Monday, July 15, 2013


Fish On

I wouldn't want anyone to think I was some kind of stereotype, or something, so I eagerly took up a friend's offer to go Kayak Fishing on the Brazos, on the outskirts of Waco, off I35.

We stopped at Walmart to pick up some spinners and lures and I seized the opportunity to spray my legs with insect repellent, or sunscreen, which I found open at the sporting goods counter. I got into a fight about that with a Walmart person. but don't worry, it wasn't a real fight, just a verbal.

some guy facing off a bear with a hatchet

Fleeing Walmart we stopped at a Starbucks because I wanted a Latte, and spied a senior philosophy prof (?) from Baylor. I resisted the urge to hurl unkind taunts about "old bald head" and reminded my friend about Elijah and the bears.


Then a whole lot of fun kayaking along the river -- the fish (Bass) were jumping and I was catching nothing until we pulled into some shallows and cast from there. Caught a baby Bass and a Drum(?) and as always felt inordinately pleased at the catch. Put the fish back and progressed upstream to home.

Fish Rising

Great fun. Message? Fish more often, get a boat.

Fish on,


Shoot the Lee, for God's Sake!

Add caption

You may have thought that I'd forgotten about firearms, being so busy with the Mission Field and all. But no, despite a grievous lack of readily available ammo -- please, someone, sort it out -- I've managed to get to my friend's range a couple of times.

Upgrade the glass, yo.

I was especially pleased with my "project Lee," an old 1917 SMLE that'd been sporterized once, badly, then re-sporterized by me in an amateur attempt to own a make-believe Lee Speed. Not being a stereotype, I want to own something approximating to the hunting rifle of the British Empire.

Sand, Plane, Rasp, Blue

Whatever, the mock Speed shot pretty well, putting rounds in a Dime with a used Burris(!) scope. Not bad for a WWI rifle that's gone through several porch project gunsmith hours. 

There's a Rifle on the Table1

Some people have motorcycles in their front room, or "lounge." Others go for Lees on the Mahogany. Same strategy, different tactic? 


In other news, the oddly named Gavin SameSex Welby has come out vastly in favor of wimmin bishops and rather cautiously in favor of gay sex. Go on, Gavin, bite the bullet!


Yours unstereotypically,